This article is part of a series dedicated to providing support and visibility to plus-size pregnant mothers. To read more stories, visit Plus-Size, Pregnant & Proud. To apply to join our private community on Facebook, click here.
There is something so magical about the way pregnancy makes random people feel totally comfortable talking about a woman's ever-changing body. Oh wait, did I say magical? What I really meant was that it's super annoying, rude, and intrusive to constantly have to field comments from friends, family, and strangers. Although I suspect that no pregnant woman (or nonpregnant woman) is immune to stupid comments about the way she looks, I'm also convinced that it is even worse for plus-sized pregnant women. Why? Because their already larger bodies are under serious social scrutiny, and when they get larger (even for bringing new life into the world) people balk at the idea. Not to mention, the loads of misinformation surrounding plus-size women.
As someone who was a solid size 18 when I got pregnant, I can say from experience that being plus-size and pregnant can be majorly challenging. Decent maternity clothes can be hard to come by, and it's hard to feel like the stereotypical cute pregnant lady when there's no perfect, beach ball baby bump to photograph. Add to that rude comments from doctors, mothers-in-law, and friends, and plus-sized moms-to-be deserve a medal for making it through the experience without totally losing their minds.
More from CafeMom: Mom Tells the Too-Real Truth About Pregnancy in These Hilarious Cartoons
I talked to 15 other women, who ranged from size 14 to 28 before they got pregnant, about what it was really like to be plus-size and pregnant. Not surprisingly, they all had a story to tell about the rude, shocking, and sometimes jaw-dropping things people said to them about their bodies and their pregnancies. Read on for 15 examples of things people should NEVER, ever say to a plus-size woman who's expecting.
TWIN TROUBLE
"When I told my mother-in-law that we were expecting twins, she looked me up and down and said 'Well, I guess the good news is that you'll have plenty of space for them' — um, so rude! Should have known she'd have something rude to say about my size." — Rachel M., Saint Paul, Minnesota
CHIN AND BEAR IT
"My sister asked me if I was gaining pregnancy weight in my face or if I'd always had such a bad double chin. In what universe is that an okay question to ask someone? Damn pregnancy hormones made me cry so hard when she asked that too." — Laurel G., Clearwater, Florida
MISSING THE MARK
"I asked my doctor if there was anything that would help soothe my stretch marks and she said 'It looks like you already have enough stretch marks to know that nothing helps.' Ouch. That stung." — Felice D., San Jose, California
More from CafeMom: 10 Facts You May Not Know About Your Stretch Marks
WHO KNEW?
"I'm a big girl, even by big girl standards. I'm a size 28, but even so, I got pregnant easily when my husband and I started trying. When I told people at work, someone actually said that they didn't realize people as big as me could even get pregnant." — Marie D., Lansing, Michigan
WEIGHT WORRIES
"I had TERRIBLE morning sickness, so I actually lost weight (almost 15 pounds) during my first two trimesters. So why did I still get the lecture from my doctor every visit about how I didn't really need to eat for two? I could barely even eat for one!" — Jo Lynn S., Tucson, Arizona
SO CLUELESS
"My super-skinny teenage sister asked me if I'd even need to buy maternity clothes since my regular stuff was 'so big.' I don't think she was trying to be mean, but it felt super clueless when finding cute clothes was already so hard for me." — Jamie J., Denton, Texas
CLASS ACT
"I love yoga, so I was psyched to sign up for a prenatal class. When I went for my first class, the teacher pulled me aside and told me that if I wasn't used to working out the class might be too much for me. Seriously? I take three classes a week. I can handle this." — Marta G., Las Cruces, New Mexico
DON'T ASSUME
"Yes, I did have gestational diabetes, but it still annoyed me that my mother and mother-in-law both assumed I would get it because of my weight. They were basically blaming me for it and gave me no sympathy. It sucked." — Toya W., Maple Grove, Minnesota
More from CafeMom: 4 Women Reveal What It's Like to Be Plus-Size & Pregnant
SWEET TREAT
"My office mates were nice enough to throw me a baby shower at work but I was super annoyed when they asked if wanted to have a fruit salad or something healthy for dessert instead of the standard cupcakes. No, ma'am. Bring on the cupcakes and leave out the body shame, okay?" — Larissa U., Gilbert, Arizona
NOT POINTLESS
"I was working out when I was about six or seven months pregnant and one of the trainers at the gym said 'You're just so brave!' I freaking hate the brave comment. I'm not brave. I'm just a fat lady trying to work on my fitness." — Morgan S., Toledo, Ohio
CRAVINGS
"I overheard my husband telling my mother-in-law that I was having cravings for strawberry ice cream and Doritos and heard her say something about how those probably weren't new cravings for me, har har har. Because I'm fat, right? Always eating that ice cream with my fat face." — Ulla D., Newport, Minnesota
DR. FEEL NOT SO GOOD
"It's hard to get good medical care as an overweight person, full stop. It's even worse when you're pregnant. I can't tell you how many times nurses would assume I already [had] high blood pressure or that I was an out-of-control eater. One doctor even said my baby was looking big, 'just like his mama!'" — Mandy B., Tampa, Florida
CUTE SUIT
"I signed up for a prenatal aqua aerobics class and one of the other moms complimented me on my maternity suit. I wish she'd stopped talking there and not added 'This is the one time a big gut looks cute in a bathing suit!' Um, gee, thanks?" — Carrie S., Hudson, Wisconsin
GOOD GIRL
"I was eating a salad at a restaurant and this old guy walked by and gave me a thumbs up and said 'That's a good girl!' It felt very much like he was surprised to see a chubby preggo eating vegetables. So insulting." — Taylor A., Denver, Colorado
BELLY SHAMED
"When we went for our gender reveal ultrasound, the tech looked at my (large) belly and asked if I was sure there was a baby there or if she'd just end up finding a couple burritos. We filed a formal complaint afterwards. She ruined such a special day." — Name withheld by request
