After Attending a 12-Year-Old's 'Coming Out Party,' Parent Refuses to Let Daughter Sleep Over



The debate about sleepovers is a heated one in the parenting world. Some parents are completely for them, often citing their happiest memories being tied to childhood sleepovers. Other parents are wholly against them, noting that it is an opportunity for far too much illicit behavior to occur and presents child abusers a ripe opportunity. 

However, one parent's decision to ban their daughter from sleepovers is coming under some serious fire. 

  • The parent asked Reddit's AITA's group if they're wrong for banning their daughter from sleeping over her best friend's house because her BBF is gay.

    After the daughter's friend's parents hosted a coming out party for the girl, the "logic" is that now that the young girl is out, the family "can no longer guarantee a safe environment for my daughter to stay in." Meaning, it is possible that the lesbian girl's sexuality puts the daughter at risk for sexual activity. 

    The parent even noted that the lesbian girl is only allowed to stay over their home if their son is staying somewhere else such as a friend's home or their brother's house. 

    "It's not that I don't trust my son," the parent clarified. "it's because I strive to provide a safe environment."

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  • Redditors were pretty confounded at the mom's question.

    One user didn't beat around the bush: "So all lesbians are automatically attracted to all girls? That's homophobic."

  • Others noted that the other issue is the parent's messaging around the son being forced to leave if there is an unrelated female in the house.

    reddit thread

     This comment was in response to this user's criticism.

    "You’re playing up the sexuality of kids if you won’t allow your son to stay at your house if your daughter has a friend sleepover. Additionally, you’re teaching your daughter all the wrong things. Just because your daughters friend came out as lesbian, should not change a thing. Chances are, this girl has known she was lesbian for a long time. That should not impact your daughter/ the way she spends time with her. You are doing your daughter an incredible disservice raising her this way."

  • But some people thought that the poster had a point, saying that most parent's wouldn't be OK with an heterosexual opposite-sex sleepover either.

    opposite sex comment

    Others, however, quickly shot down this rationalization, asking if that means the parent is automatically assuming that their own daughter is gay.

    "So bi kids can’t ever have sleepovers? Cool," responded another user to this comparison.

  • The parent edited their original post for some clarification, saying the concern was about the parents "celebrating sexuality."


    But people called the parent out for that too:

    "You say, why on earth would you celebrate a 12 year olds sexuality," a user further commented. "Correct -- so what do you think you’re highlighting when you don’t let your son stay at your house when girls are staying over or you don’t let your daughter sleep at her best friend's house. You are putting way too much emphasis on the sexuality of children... More and more kids are going to be comfortable coming out earlier because thankfully society is becoming a safer environment for them to discover themselves and do so. Parents are going to have teach their kids how to interact safely with all genders, regardless of the setting. The same boundaries you should teach your daughter regarding a boy, should be taught for a girl and vice versa. Gender should mean less and personal boundaries should mean more."

  • Boom. 

    Perhaps the parent can figure out a way to be comfortable with the situation for their daughter's sake.