Parenting

Your Kids Are Never Old Enough to Hear You Have Sex

ParentingPublished Jan 24, 2012
By Jeanne Sager
closed door

Some words just don't belong in the same sentence. I'm thinking "mom," "teen," and "loud sex." And yet, a 15-year-old girl in Florida is making news because she called 911 to complain that her mom was having loud sex, and she found it disrespectful. I'm not sure who to pity the most.

I know. It happens. Parents are sexual (hence the reason they're parents!), and kids are curious. In every family's life, there comes a day when the children will find out that the parents have sex.

As a parent and a child both, I'm not actually sure who this day is harder on. Is it the parents who know their kids now know they do the deed? Or is it the kids who have to actually face the fact that, OMG, ewwwwww!

Herein lies the problem. By 15, that kid in Florida should have been mature enough to grapple with her mom making sexytimes and smart enough not to call the cops over something so banal.

But it's one thing to talk to your kid about sex. It's another to talk to your kids about the fact that YOU are a sexual being. It's difficult enough that I can still feel sympathy for the kid despite her bad choices.

I'm a mother. I have sex. And yet, if my aunt wants to make me clasp my hands over my ears and scream like a toddler who's trying to pretend she can't hear her mom calling her to go take a bath, all she has to say is "your parents" and "wild monkey sex" in the same sentence (and she uses this power for EVIL!). Go ahead and call me immature. Now think about your dad. Now think about his penis.

Did that make you gag in your mouth a little bit? Exactly!

I'm all for honesty and transparency, and when my daughter is older, I fully intend to be that mom who is free-flowing with information and open to questions. As parents we have a responsibility to sit our kids down at some point and be honest with them about sexuality. We need to teach them where babies come from and how to prevent them. We need to teach them about love and their rights to say "no."

But unless she puts it on the table, I'm not bringing up my sex life. It's one topic I'm fine with leaving a mystery, especially if it freaks her out.

What's your policy on talking to your kids about your sex life? How about talking to YOUR parents?

Image via nolaclutterbusters/Flickr

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