Drinking Soda Could Make Your Daughter Get Her Period While She's Still a Kid

girl drinking sodaRemember when you first learned about menstruation? And you were like, "I'm going to bleed from where, how often?!?" Well, the latest news about soda is about to make that rite of passage even more emotionally charged for girls.

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Drinking sugary soda is linked to earlier onset of menstruation. Yikes! That's according to a study of 5,583 girls. Those between the ages of 9 to 14 who drank more than 1.5 sodas a day, on average, started their periods 2.7 months earlier than peers who drank just two or fewer sodas a week.

No big deal? The study's authors say it is a big deal because earlier menstruation is linked to increased risk for breast cancer. But the American Council on Science and Health says this soda and menarche study is so deeply flawed, you should disregard it. Forget you even saw it! Oh -- but too late, it's already all over the news by now. And I'm not sure that's such a bad thing. (Also, the ACSH gets its funding from some major players in the soda and beverage industry, so I'm skeptical of their criticism.)

More from The Stir: Keep America Free: Let My Kids Drink Soda!

Regardless, it's going to scare the bajeezus out of girls is when they hear about sodas and periods on the school bus, completely out of context. Can't you just see it?

"Bella, you shouldn't drink that."

"Why not?"

"'Cause you'll get your period sooner!"

"WHAT? Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah, they were saying it on the news! Soda makes your period come earlier."

Bella looks at her soda in horror, losing her appetite for sugary bubbles.

Thank you, scientists! This news is super convenient for moms already trying to cut back on their kids' sugar soda consumption for a whole long list of other boring health reasons. I'm not saying any of us would actually lie to our kids about soda and periods. And this isn't a knock against the glorious rite of passage that is menarche, and how wonderful it is that the taboo is dying. Yay, menstruation and girlhood! Woohoo to all that! But come on -- no one wants to start early. NO ONE.

Ooh, what if this turns into a rumor that soda causes boys to menstruate, too? Dream come true!

Haha, did I just say that?

Yeah, this possibly false link between soda and periods is the best thing to happen to kids' health in a while. Let's make a deal, okay? When our girls come home from school asking us if this link between sugary soda and periods is true, we'll say, "Hmm, maybe we should look that up after dinner," and then forget to do that. They'll find out the details soon enough, just like they'll find out what it's like to menstruate. But why rush either?

How do you think your kids will feel about the link between soda consumption and menstruation?

 

Image via AnneMS/Shutterstock

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