My Kid Will Never Have a Facebook Account

A couple of years ago, everyone I knew was ranting and raving (mostly raving) about this awesome new site called "Facebook." I was dubious, but they all insisted that they'd reconnected with old friends there and their lives were better for having this account. It took a lot of wheedling and whining, but eventually I signed up for it.

Turns out, it's almost identical to MySpace, which I DID have an account on (I'm dating myself here).

It also did not change my life in any way.

Wait, I take that back. It did change my life -- for the worse.

This is why I will never allow my kids to have a Facebook account.


First, those games you can easily rack up hundreds of dollars playing -- like tending to your fake farm -- well, if my kids want to work, I'm happy to give them REAL chores in the REAL garden.

Then, we all know kids are mean. Kids between the ages of 13 and 18, can be especially cruel. The last thing I'd want my kids to have to learn about is cyberbullying -- having some asshole kid write mean things about my kid on his (or her) wall. Not cool.

And kids, well, they don't really think ahead. It SEEMS like a good idea to post pictures of themselves doing stupid crap, because, EVERYONE is doing it, Mom. But we all know that our kids future employer doesn't need to see our kid traipsing around Mexico, half-naked.

Most importantly, I don't want my kid to have a Facebook account because I want him to learn that "LOL" or "OMG" are not actual words. I'm not presuming I'll have a kid that wants to become a writer, and I'm not pretending that I am an actual writer, but I do expect that my kid will learn to speak, read, and write properly. Facebook? Well, it doesn't encourage that.


Do you allow your kid to have a Facebook account?


Image via Sean MacEntee/Flickr

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