Teenagers Are Harder to Deal With Than Babies

newbornI'll be the first to admit that tiny babies aren't exactly my cup of tea. Don't get me wrong -- I love babies. I think they're adorable and squishy and their wee feet make me swoon. But they're also fussbags that keep me from sleeping more than two hours at a stretch; they ensure that I walk around in a haze from sun-up to sundown, weeping over my leaky breasts, while I walk into walls.

Babyhood, well, it wasn't my thing.

But the teenage years? I'm suddenly looking back on the Baby Days with an unnatural fondness in my eyes.


It's not that I don't understand that I'm often wrong. I'm fully aware that my words should almost always elicit eye rolling and deep sighing, because "OMG REALLY MOM? You're SOOOOOO LAME."

It's just that I'm tired of how FREQUENTLY it occurs. I can barely say, "It's time for dinner" without my eldest stomping around, rolling his eyes because "OMG SO LAME, MOM. DINNER IS SO LAME."

I mean ... really?

That sort of behavior makes me wish that I could go back in time, snuggle that baby on up, and embrace the poopy diapers one. last. time.

Because this child, this tiny teenager, he's driving me up a wall.

Sure, I was up with my baby all night, pacing the halls, but I stay up worrying about my teen's whereabouts too. Where is he? Why hasn't he called? What's he doing? Is he safe? These aren't questions I can answer easily.

Sure, I worried I'd chosen the wrong car seat or preschool, but now I get to worry about bullies, sexting, and drugs. I'll take the car seat any day. At least those came with reviews and the ability to return it to the store for a new one.

Sure, my baby wasn't particularly cheerful or easy to please, but it beats the hell out of the sullen beast who's entirely convinced I am the stupidest person to walk the planet. (He may be right.)

Sure, the poopy diapers weren't exactly a walk in the park, but now I have to wash sheets and deal with skidmarks. Not a walk in the park either.

I know that this too will pass, and someday, about 10 years from now, we'll be friends again, but this week, I'm missing how simple things once were.

Does your teen make you yearn for the baby days? Or are they happily behind you?


Image via Aunt Becky

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