We Need to Teach Our Daughters the Real Value of Their Virginity

For saleLet’s say, hypothetically, you discovered that your baby girl was planning to have herself deflowered. Maybe all of her friends were shedding their virginity and she didn’t want to be the last chick with her purity still in tact. Maybe she claimed she was in love with her little boo and wanted to see what all the hype around this sex thing was about.

Even if you were floored by the discovery, wouldn’t you want her first time to be special and precious, just like her virtue itself?

It’s pretty safe to say you wouldn’t hustle it online like a promiscuity pimp as did a Salt Lake City woman, who pleaded guilty to trying to hock her 13-year-old daughter’s virginity for the bargain basement price of $10,000


After making the child model in her bra and panties for a trifling old pervert on the Internet and agreeing via text message to pander her goods, this idiot makes me think perhaps it’s a good idea after all that some people be barred from having children.

My kid is the same age as her child — just two weeks into her official teendom, as a matter of fact — and I'm over here trying to keep my daughter's virginity in tact for all it's worth, just because I'm scared society will outweigh my influence. Warning her about the emotional connections to sex. Showing her horrifying pictures of sexually transmitted diseases. Pleading with her to wait until she’s married before she gives it up. Meanwhile, this nutty lady is over there trying to peddle her child’s goods away.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, I really do. But there’s just no way I can make this situation make sense or take any kind of angle that would make this right.

Even if she herself was the victim of abuse (not saying that’s her claim, but it almost inevitably pops up as a defense when some criminal acts the fool), she had the wherewithal to turn her baby girl’s body into the centerpiece of a business transaction. That, for me, is when it would cross the line from subconscious aftershocks to very apparent wrongdoing. She needs to be in jail. And she needs to be far, far away from her daughter before she does any more damage to her.

And to think: this is just the thing she got herself arrested for. Heaven only knows about the other, less obvious but still sucky values she’s been raising that child with. Here’s to hoping her daughter doesn’t end up on someone’s stroll or splashed across the pages of some trashy nudie mag, the ones wrapped in the plastic covers at the 7-Eleven newsstand, or worse, an episode of Snapped or a defendant’s table because her mother set her up for failure. Victims of bad parenting have a multitude of ways to act out. Don’t believe me? Just talk to a social worker or a juvenile corrections officer. 

I agree with a lot of guys: having a daughter is more responsibility than having a son, and not just because they’re the ones who can and too often do wind up pregnant. It’s because girls have the power to set the tone with what they choose to do with their sexuality. If young ladies make the decision to hold on to their virginity, young men have no choice but to wait, too. And that’s a benefit in many ways.

There are other pluses to holding on to it, even if they don’t have a crazy mama trying to sell it away from them. But for some reason, we’re not doing a good enough job of convincing our girls to value their Vs, even beyond the power Nicki Minaj and Lil’ Kim preach about.  

Do you wish you would’ve held on to your virginity a little (or a lot) longer?

Image via robbyspencer/Flickr

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