New Teen Drinking Craze Is Big Joke on Parents

The word on the street is that teenagers -- no longer content to eyeball their vodka and take jello shots -- have now taken to soaking gummi bears in vodka and eating them. It's unclear how this is any more dangerous than shotgunning beers or luging Malibu, but the media is up in arms. 

A recent news story on the Boston Channel highlighted the "craze," but the joke was on them when none of the teens interviewed had ever even heard of it. "It sounds really weird," one teen replied, looking at the reporter like she was insane.

Parents are being told to be vigilant, but my guess is that the joke is on them. Besides, how drunk can a person really get from gummy bears. And even if they could get drunk from 500, how much alcohol can a gummy bear really hold?


It seems like every few months, there is some new craze parents need to fear whether it's colored bracelets denoting sex acts or kids pouring vodka into their eyeballs. Some of them might be real, but others seem just made up to scare parents.

Relax mom and dad! Yes, I'm not looking forward to having teenagers, but I also know that most teenagers don't have idiotic death wishes. As crazy as I was as a teen, I knew my limits. None of us would survive our childhood if we did all the things the media likes to pretend we did.

Teens survive and thrive. They even grow up and go to college and become us! I'm not saying teens should drink and mow vodka gummy bears like they are vitamins, but I'm pretty sure it will all be OK.

If you want to, confiscate all gummy paraphernalia -- worms, bears, spiders, and the like. Your kid will still drink if they want to. Or you can just chill out and drink some vodka yourself.

Do you think this is silly?

Image via DOH4/Flickr

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