I'd Call the Cops on My Kid in a Hot Second

Police callIt’s never a surprise when a teenager acts up — double that if they’re celebrity spawn. Still, your heart has to go out to Stephanie Seymour, who was forced to call the cops on her 17-year-old son after a family squabble apparently escalated.

This fracas comes on the heels of an earlier controversy, when some pretty racy pictures were taken of Steph and her son on vacay at the beach, kissing and acting couple-ish. I don’t know any teenage boy willing to go skin-to-skin with his mom (ack!) in a bikini (eww!) which then causes his boy part to get stiff (oh yuck!) But we’re all misconstruing it, they insist, and so I move on.

Anyway, when police showed up, they described the family as peaceable and civil, but nothing says dysfunction like the boys (and girls) in blue showing up to straighten out a tiff between you and your kid. If dialing 911 ever comes into play, the situation has officially spiraled out of control.


It’s not that I call her onto the carpet for doing it. I just wonder at what point I myself would run to a phone if my daughter and I were having an argument. I’m pretty sure that if it ever happens, both the parent and the child need to expect the relationship to be awkward — or at least different — from that moment on. But it’s pretty pitiful that law enforcement is increasingly becoming a mom and dad’s go-to protection against their own kids.

Rather that than end up like the Florida parents whose son, who is also 17, bludgeoned them to death with a hammer, then hosted a party for dozens of people in the living room. The only thing separating his guests and the bodies of his dead mom and dad was a locked bedroom door. Now that’s just hellishly scary. What in the name of all that’s basic human nature would compel you to pick up a household tool and attack your parents with it? Mental issues or not: that is one brutal, trifling way of killing anybody, let alone your own folks.

And, at the very base of it all, it’s a super personal way to attack anyone. I mean, you’re being splattered with blood, hit with matter, hearing all of the noises because you’re only a few inches away. On your own mother and father? Ugh. Sorry, too much crime TV has made this picture all too vivid in my mind. And to make things even more worse — not that they can be — getting bashed in the head means they were probably very aware of who their attacker was. I just feel horrible for them.
That makes Peter Brant’s possible make-out with his mom seem pretty trivial, no?

It’s not even that this Florida story is an isolated case. North American teenagers are losing their ever-loving minds period. Right before this dude cracked his marbles, two brothers in Alberta were arrested for murdering their mother by suffocating her with a plastic bag… because she wanted to play Yahtzee and they didn’t. Seriously. What. The. Hell. How do you even offer that as an excuse?

And that situation was even more gruesome because there were three — count ‘em — three sons involved in that madness. Not a one of them with heart enough to save their mama. Sheesh. Maybe it’s moms with 17-year-old boys who especially need to watch their backs. That seems to be the common denominator in all of these cases.

But those are super extreme, highly dramatic instances of family squabbles gone way, way wrong. Most of us parents don’t live in fear of being physically attacked in any way by our children — that sleep with one eye open joke is hopefully just that. A joke. All I know is this: if my child is making me feel like their level of anger or their overall behavior has gotten so out of control that I feel threatened or even find myself being scared, I would make that call just like Stephanie Seymour did. Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

What you won’t do as a child is disrespect me as a parent and have me feeling like I might end up getting hurt or becoming a headline on the AOL homepage.
Would you call the police on your child if an argument got heated?

Image via davidsonscott15/Flickr

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