Idiot Scientists Claim Kids 'Forget' Having Sex

teenagersNow I've heard it all. Scientists were befuddled by the number of teenagers who claimed to be virgins cropping up with STDs. So they decided to explain it away with one of the most asinine things I have ever heard.

Some of the teens, these geniuses determined, "forgot they had intercourse." Oh, I'm sorry. Did you just blow your coffee all over the computer screen? Apparently you have had sex. Let me tell you, I had Diet Pepsi bubbles coming out of my nose; it was painful. And it destroyed all my efforts to look at the lovable geeks on the Big Bang Theory as just a Hollywood version of the typical scientist.


No one could possibly be that nerdy ... or can they? Only someone who had never had sex could possibly assume that anyone who had had it simply "forgot" about that whole "I finally lost my V card" thing.

Especially teenagers, who tend to spend an awful lot of time talking about who has lost it and who hasn't. When I was a teen, even if you were abstinent and had no intention of doing it for a good long time, you knew who was. That's not simply anecdotal. In a 2005 national study by CASA, 52 percent of kids reported their friends were engaging in sexual activity. Kids make it their business to know this kind of thing.

And no matter when it happens, losing your virginity is a big deal. Whether it's a one-night stand or the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. For women, especially, it can be painful, but even for the males -- there's the question of "am I doing this right," the "holy crap, this is really happening." As Dr. Ruth says, "you should make sex the first time special [because] your first sexual experience can affect your view of sex for the rest of your life."

And we're supposed to believe these scientists that these kids treat sex like their homework or their gym socks? "Whoops, sorry Mom, I forgot."

In fact, the only case where I can imagine anyone (save for the obvious: Alzheimer's patient, brain injury, etc.) forgot about intercourse would be in the case of drug or alcohol use or a date rape drug. In which case, is it any wonder these kids have STDs? If they were under the influence, and someone was having sex with them, they were being raped. Rapists generally don't care enough about their victims to prevent a chlamydia outbreak. And that should automatically exclude them from a study of "abstinent teens with STDs." At the very least, it taints the evidence.

Are you buying this argument?


Image via kamshots/Flickr

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