Could You Survive Dating Joe Goldberg From 'You'? (Quiz)

Nicole Pomarico | Jan 29, 2020 TV
Could You Survive Dating Joe Goldberg From 'You'? (Quiz)
Image: Netflix

Elizabeth Lail, Joe Goldberg in 'You'

Watching the show You on Netflix makes a lot of thoughts go through our heads. Although we've definitely found ourselves rooting for the bad guy and screaming at our TVs at Beck and Love to get as far away from Joe as they possibly can, in the end, it's easy to see how someone could be charmed by a good-looking man who seems genuinely interested in us ... even though his interest is beyond creepy and usually leads to death for the woman he's into and/or the people around her. But ultimately, our remaining question is this: Could we actually survive dating Joe Goldberg

And more importantly, could you?

Of course, plenty of wildly unrealistic things happen in You, but it's not too far off when it comes to showing how people live in 2020. Social media allows us to share what's sometimes way too much information about ourselves with the world, and in the wrong hands (like Joe's), it can end up being dangerous -- and in some cases even deadly.

Honestly, when our feelings get involved, even the best of us can get a little side tracked by love. An attractive, sweet, thoughtful man wants to shower us with attention and act like we're the only woman in the world? It's easy to see how some people might be able to ignore his shady actions and stalker ways, but others are so hyper vigilant about protecting ourselves that we'd be Joe's biggest nightmare.

Wondering if you'd be smart enough to escape dating Joe unscathed or would become one of his victims like Beck -- or forever committed to him like Love? Would you be able to recognize the red flags for what they are and escape his clutches before it's too late? 

Ready to find out the truth? Take the quiz that follows, and tally up all your answers while we're wasting time and waiting for You Season 3 to drop

Good luck out there.

  • Most of us are on social media, but when someone new goes to find your account, what will they see when they search your name?


    A. Everything is public. I love to share and love checking into the places I've been so everyone can see how much fun I'm having.

    B. My social media is locked down. Even my profile photo doesn't feature my face.

    C. I'm not on social media. That's how the government spies on you, right?

  • Some of us are more creative than others, but we all have our passions. What's yours?


    A. I'm a writer, and I hope to publish a book of my own someday.

    B. I mostly like to spend my free time with my friends and family -- doesn't everyone?

    C. I'm super into art and expressing myself through paintings and drawings.

  • Is privacy important to you, or are you an open book?


    A. I'll never stop talking about myself as long as I have a willing audience.

    B. I like to keep my personal life personal ... even after we've known each other for awhile.

    C. I like to be open with the people I trust, but it takes time to earn my trust.

  • How would you describe the kinds of people you've dated in the past? 


    A. I don't always date the people who are the best for me. I tend to get dragged into toxic relationships.

    B. All of my relationships have to be based on mutual respect, or else I'm out.

    C. I've only had a couple of serious relationships, but my love life is not what I'm focused on right now.

  • Do you ever let your phone out of your sight? 


    A. I like to update my Instagram, but I'm not tied to it. Sometimes, I forget to check my notifications for hours.

    B. My phone might as well be glued to my hand. I've never lost it before -- not even for a few minutes.

    C. I'll check my Apple Watch for important calls or texts, but I'm trying to be more present in the moment.

  • You're seeing someone new, and you're super into that person. What do your friends think?


    A. They get way too involved in my personal life. I ask them to back off, but they just won't stop being so nosy -- especially my BFF. 

    B. My friends are always super supportive, but they're not afraid to point out red flags when they see them.

    C. They mind their business and I mind mine. After all, it's not like they're part of my relationship.

  • You just got home from a really amazing first date with someone you just met. What's the first thing you do? 


    A. Text all my friends about what a great date I had, but sometimes, I just can't help but compare them to my ex.

    B. Immediately get online and Google their name. If I'm going to be spending time with this person, I want to know everything about them -- from their first grade teacher's name to where they went on vacation in 2014. 

    C. I'll usually add them on Facebook if I haven't already, and then wait for them to call me. Hey, they said they would, and I don't want to look desperate! 

  • Do you live alone?


    A. Yes. I pay way too much for this studio apartment, but living by myself is so freeing -- and no one's there to judge me if I bring someone home after a night out.

    B. My roommate is one of my closest friends, and she would totally notice if I didn't come home.

    C. I still live with my parents, but they're out of town a lot.

  • It's always annoying when someone lies to you, but some people are really good liars. Do you ever pick up on it when someone's not telling the truth?


    A. My instinct for that kind of thing is way off. Besides, I like to take people at their word until they give me a reason not to.

    B. I can sense a lie from a mile away, and nothing pisses me off more than someone who can't be honest.

    C. White lies usually slip past me, but if someone's lying about something big, I can always tell.

  • it's really hard to know how to react in an emergency, but how are you at thinking on your feet?


    A. I am usually the person in the corner, panicking. I totally freeze when things go wrong.

    B. I'm the kind of person who spots all the exits when they walk into somewhere new -- and the second I sense something might be amiss, I start formulating a plan.

    C. I follow my gut, but sometimes, it's hard to tell when I have a truly bad feeling and when it's just nerves.

  • You've been dating someone for a few months, but you just ran into the ex ... and they told you all kinds of terrible things about them. What do you do?


    A. I laugh it off and move on. I like to judge people based on my experiences of them, not what other people say.

    B. It's easy to tell when someone's being petty and when someone's trying to warn me. And if they're trying to warn me, I'm definitely going to listen.

    C. I'd be concerned, but next time I see my partner, I'm totally asking them why their ex would say these things.

  • Many people have a complicated relationship with their family. What's yours like?


    A. I like my siblings, but my parents and I just don't see eye to eye. I avoid them at all costs.

    B. My family and I are super close; we talk almost every day. They're still so involved in my life, and I hope that never changes.

    C. We get along just fine, but we only see each other on major holidays.

  • The person you're dating has been acting a little shady lately, but treat you better than anyone you've ever been with. What do you do?


    A. I let it slide. I'm probably just overreacting, and we have such a solid relationship. It's probably no big deal.

    B. I've been noticing that they've been acting weird for a while, and at this point, I'm weighing my options. Do I really want to date someone who's been sneaking around so much? 

    C. I bring it up with them, but if they tell me it's fine, then I believe them.

  • Breakups are always hard, even if you're the one initiating it. When is the right time to end a relationship?


    A. End a relationship? I've never done that before. I try to make everything work until they break up with me, and that's how I know I've done all that I can do. 

    B. At the absolute first sign of trouble. I'm not going to stick around and wait for the red flags to show up. The sooner I end it, the easier it'll be to get over them.

    C. If we're fighting all the time and we're both unhappy, I'll call it. But if it's worth saving, it can't hurt to fight at least a little for true love.

  • Are you persuasive? 


    A. Uh, no. I would make a terrible salesperson. I can't even convince myself of anything.

    B. I could sell ice to a penguin -- that's how persuasive I am. I can talk myself into and out of almost any situation, even if it's a dangerous one.

    C. If I have a second to come up with a plan, I'm not too bad at it.

  • if you answered mostly A ... 


    Bad news: You didn't survive.

    Unfortunately, with your approach to dating, privacy, and your inability to think on your feet, you'd be the perfect victim for Joe to go after -- and he probably thinks he'd be able to save you from yourself. But don't worry. There are a few things you can do to protect yourself in the future. Maybe stop being quite so public on social media, and if you don't already have curtains, it's a good time to buy some.

  • If you answered mostly B ... 


    Congratulations! You might have gone out on a few dates with Joe Goldberg -- or been his rebound while he's on a break from the current "love of his life" -- but ultimately, you weren't worth pursuing. That just means you have plenty of common sense and a lot of healthy skepticism about the world around you (especially when it comes to people you just met). Joe's usual tricks wouldn't get past you, and he'd probably move on to an easier target.

  • If you answered mostly C ... 


    Honestly, it could go either way.

    If you ended up in a relationship with Joe, you'd definitely notice his red flags when he threw them up -- and if he stole your cell phone and hid it in his apartment, you'd find it almost immediately. His charm might work on you at first, but after some time, you might wonder who he really is. And those questions would either save you or land you in the plexiglass box (where no one wants to be). 

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