16 Chilling Ways 'American Horror Story' Sums Up Life as a Parent

Tanvier Peart | Sep 14, 2018 TV
16 Chilling Ways 'American Horror Story' Sums Up Life as a Parent
Image: FX Networks

Sarah Paulson in American Horror Story
FX Networks

Since its premiere in 2011, American Horror Story, and its unforgettable anthology, has become a household horror series we cannot escape. It's so good and chilling and frightening (and crazy) that keeps us coming back intrigued, wondering about what sinister story line is in store and which actors plan on reprising their infamous roles. Each season, AHS mixes things up with its plot to showcase more craziness that would be a living nightmare if it crossed into reality.

And want to know something else crazy? Some of it could easily sum up life as a parent.

While it's pretty safe to say no mom or dad expects to contend with the undead, random aliens, and maybe the Antichrist (clowns appearing out of nowhere, however, are still questionable as that happened in real life), there are some parallels between the American Horror Story series and parenting that aren't far-fetched.

Some domestic horror happens on an almost daily basis that causes someone to scream, households -- and the endless amount of randomness and mess kids create -- could very well make things look like a post-apocalyptic, and keeping patience without losing it can feel like a deserving trip to the asylum. So yeah, parenting is hard and can sometimes feel like moms and dads are guest-starring in a nightmare -- like American Horror Story (LOL).

For the sake of a good laugh and the reminder our best is all we can try to give, here are some fun (and funny) ways American Horror Story sums up being a parent.

  • No Matter How Dead Tired Parents Are, We Still Have to Parent


    Flu. Pneumonia. Never-ending exhaustion. It doesn't matter. The kiddos still have to be taken care of so they don't run the house ragged (or burn it down in the process), which can have moms and dads looking like the walking dead.

  • Being Pregnant Is a Whole New Ball Game


    As wonderful and exciting as it is to bring life into this world, things aren't always peachy when moms-to-be are expecting. In fact, it's not uncommon to question the little being -- we mean bean -- inside and what's in store down the road.

  • A Mother's Intuition Is a Real Superpower


    New moms will soon realize they posses a power that truly is supernatural: a mother's intuition. While it might not be as cool as being a real-life voodoo doll, or having witchy powers commonly found in a coven, it is in fact real and an ability that gets better with age.

  • There's Always a Child Lurking Around Every Corner


    If American Horror Story: Cult taught us one thing, it's that we're never alone.

    Don't believe it?

    Try to pee alone -- or open up a snack and see what happens when the kids hear the rustling wrapper. We'll wait.

  • When It Goes Quiet in the House, Be Afraid ... Very Afraid


    Hopefully no parent (or in this case, a grandma) enters a child's room to find what Constance Langdon (Jessica Lange) did during the first season of American Horror Story. (Spoiler alert: Her grandson, Michael Langdon, is the Antichrist.)

    Let the record show that a quiet house with a quiet child is a sign of dire trouble.

  • Hell Will Freeze Over Before Kids Eat What's in Front of Them Without Complaining


    If only there was some magical power to get children to eat their food the first time.

    That would be awesome.

  • Watching the Destruction of a Freshly Cleaned Room Might as Well Be an Apocalyptic Event


    It's a common fact that most parents can't sustain a super clean house when children live in it. But my does it still sting when we exhaust what little energy we have left to tidy up the home ... only to have it destroyed again five minutes later.

  • Kids Really Do Disappear on Ya in the Blink of an Eye


    Heaven knows this is the truth.

    ... times a million!

  • Losing One's Mind at the Grocery Store Is a Real Thing


    Poor Ally Mayfair-Richards (Sarah Paulson) almost lost her sanity trying to shop for groceries during an American Horror Story: Cult episode. Though her circumstance wasn't the same as remembering the list of items she needed with mom brain, it's still a thing.

    ... and a very real occurrence that has parents making extra trips to the store throughout the week.

  • Scream It Out in a Private Place to Keep From Going Insane


    For the sake of sanity and not catching a case in public, let's all do ourselves a favor by taking a breather from time to time.

    We deserve it.

  • When Mom Says 'No Playing Until the Chores Are Done,' She Means It


    While Hayden McClaine (Kate Mara) took obsession to extreme (and deadly) levels, her determination to not let people walk over her like she didn't matter is one of a few positives we can take away from American Horror Story: Murder House.

    So, mamas, we need to put our feet down. When we say, "No playing games of any kind until things are clean," we dang well mean it.

  • Kids Will Always Test Patience


    Folks are always going to test patience, just like they did Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) in American Horror Story: Coven.

    And she had none of it.

    People need to take a page from her book: Parents are not to be played with.

  • There's Only So Much Shaming a Mom Will Take


    Whether we're the new mom on the block or in a mommy group, there's only so much mom-shaming a woman will take before she goes berserk.

    So let's all practice being nicer to one another because the struggle is too real.
  • No One Has This 'Parenting' Thing Down


    No matter how many books dads and moms read, no matter how many testimonies from parents who try to appear perfect they hear, or whatever else causes self-doubt, just know no one has it all together.

    Sometimes, parents are going to feel like lost souls not know what the heck to do -- and that's OK.

  • It's Our Job to Encourage New Moms


    It's our job as moms (and dads for papas) to encourage the next batch of mothers. It truly takes a village to raise a child -- or in this case, a coven.

    Every mom is a Supreme.

  • It Can Be a Real 'Freak Show'


    Sometimes, parenting feels like moms and dads are in a real American Horror Story: Freak Show -- and that's normal!

    Keep the faith, try to hold into whatever sanity is left, and keep on trucking.


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