Jenelle Evans Shares the Painful Truth About Having Suicidal Thoughts

Jenelle Evans holding her book

Dang, girl. We knew Jenelle Evans had a rough childhood, but we had no idea she faced so many demons at such a young age. Thanks to her new book, Read Between the Lines: From the Diary of a Teenage Mom, we're getting a disturbing picture into her life that gives us some sympathy for how far she's come.


Jenelle's book takes her old diary entries and reexamines them as an adult, and wow, did she have some troubled thoughts as a teenager, including wanting to kill herself on multiple occasions.

In 2005, 13-year-old Jenelle wrote that she got in trouble for seeing an 18-year-old guy, and said, "Now my mom doesn't love me any more, she wishes I drop dead. That hurts me so much and now I have no one to love me ... I want to tell my mom that I'm sorry for being born because I know I was just another accident."

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She added, "She's also canceling modeling cuz she thinks I'm too ugly for it ... she tells me I'm a lil whore. She treats me like I'm not alive ... But then she won't let me kill myself cuz she'll go to jail or something."

What? We know the relationship between Jenelle and Barbara Evans has never been stellar, but would Babs actually say those things to her daughter? Maybe not.

Adult Jenelle reflected on the passage and explained, "I know it reads like a kid just regurgitating what she heard, but I know my mom didn't say those things to me ... I must've been really upset, and made up a bunch of stuff to make myself feel better about being punished for something, at heart, I knew was my fault."

In April 2006, she wrote, "I cannot believe I was about 2 kill myself and film it." But she explains now that it was "another cry for attention, I am certain of it."

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She also said that she tried cutting. "I tried cutting myself for the first and last time," she wrote. "It wasn't anything serious, just a few scratches on one arm ... I tried it out because I had heard other kids at school talk about how it relieved stress and helped me get over bad stuff that was happening around them."

How sad! Jenelle has definitely made some bad choices over the years, but she's doing really well these days and making a great life with fiancé David Eason. She's more stable than ever, and after reading these passages, it's clear she's come even farther than we thought.


If you or someone you know has expressed suicidal thoughts, please let them know they are not alone. Text START to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, or visit the Suicide Prevention Resource Center at

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