A 'Bachelor' Baby Show Would Be a Bundle of Reality TV–Viewing Joy

Everyone who has ever starred on The Bachelor is pregnant. Okay, not everyone, but a ton of ladies who are associated with Bachelor Enterprises™ and all of its spin-off shows have recently found themselves in the family way.

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Ashley Salter (from both The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise), Melissa Rycroft (The Bachelor), Ali Fedowtowsky (The Bachelorette), Catherine (Giudici) Lowe (The Bachelor), Jillian Harris (The Bachelorette), Erica Rose (The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad), Emily Maynard (The Bachelorette), and Renee Oteri (The Bachelor) are all expecting! That's eight babies right there! 

What does this mean? That there obviously needs to be a new reality show entitled Bachelor Babies™. Chris Harrison, you need to hear me out. 

We can revamp the Bachelor mansion to be totally childproofed, with locks on all the cabinets and a refrigerator alarm and one of those plastic toilet seat hinges that makes it impossible for not only babies to open them but also their moms. Instead of a bachelor or bachelorette attempting to find a partner, the premise would be a nanny who decides which baby she wants to provide safe, reliable, and affordable childcare for!

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Here's how it could go down ...

The Group Dates 

Yes, the group "dates" would be loud and confusing -- but that would totally help narrow down the field. 

 

One-on-One Dates 

Instead of one-on-one dates, the moms can compete to see who gets some one-on-one time with themselves while the nanny takes their baby for the evening. The Fantasy Suite would be very similar to the suite on the original show, but with a bigger bathtub, more chocolate-covered strawberries, a masseuse on call, a hair stylist, a manicurist, a video-on-demand service showing first-run movies, some shirtless hot dude ready to brush the contestant's hair and tell her she's pretty, and a lot of delicious snacks, including -- but not limited to -- nachos. 

 

The Rose Ceremony 

The Rose Ceremony would take on a whole other meaning considering the contestants up for elimination would be wearing diapers, and there ain't no elimination ceremony like a diaper-wearing elimination ceremony.

 

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The Season Finale 

And at the end of it, one of the babies gets a new nanny so his or her mom can do other rewarding things, like laundry, picking mashed banana out of her bra, and sterilizing nipples! 


You guys, I think this show is going to be a huge hit. Chris Harrison? Call me. 

 

Image Via Pathawi Boriboon; BikerideLondon/Shutterstock; USAartstudio/Shutterstock; Wanchai Orsuk/Shutterstock; Grafvision/Shutterstock

Treatment by Anne Meadows 

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