'Bachelorette' Kaitlyn Bristowe Reveals True Feelings About Having Sex on the Show

Kaitlyn Bristowe

Well, you gotta hand it to ABC to get people buzzing about the next season of The Bachelorette before it has even really gotten underway! Not only did Bachelor Nation watch as Kaitlyn Bristowe endured an unneccessarily humiliating evening "facing off" with Britt Nilsson for her pick of a bunch of guys who may have not been there for the right reasons, let alone for HER.


Then, an extended promo revealed that Kaitlyn, like most other grown-ass women, had sex with a guy she was dating -- gasp! -- unleashing a firestorm of slut-shaming.

No surprise really, given that the slut-shaming seemed to originate with ABC's promo, which is edited in a way that makes it seem like a bachelorette having sex (before getting to the Fantasy Suite, of course) is an offense punishable only by wearing a scarlet letter and get stoned in the town square.

Thankfully, Kaitlyn isn't mousing out on this at all. She had no problem speaking out about the "jaw-dropping" turn of events to ET's Nancy O'Dell, explaining:

I don’t think that's a crazy thing to sleep with somebody when you're trying to be in a relationship with them. I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I make my own decisions, and intimacy to me is a part of every relationship, and I don’t know why everyone is so shocked by it. It's 2015.

YES. And the fact that this totally logical, mature sentiment is considered SO much of a shocker in the universe of the Bachelorette is beyond insane. But, as Kaitlyn noted to O'Dell:

I think when you're looking for a lifetime partnership, intimacy is obviously a part of that. I think maybe I'm just the first Bachelor or Bachelorette to talk about that on TV.

Although she shouldn't have to defend herself at all, Kaitlyn went onto say:

I'm an in-the-moment kind of person. I tried to compartmentalize each relationship and be present with each guy, and some went faster than others and some went slower than others. ... I'm not ashamed of it -- I just regret the timing. 

Apparently, the hookup happened after Kaitlyn and the contender for her heart had shared "a few" dates together -- specifically, after their second date, but before their fifth. But other than serving as a clue for curious fans trying to deduce which guy it was, does it even matter? Not. At. All.

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She shouldn't have to apologize or "feel bad" or, obviously, be demonized for a thing. In the real world, in the 21st century, most 20-something and 30-year-old single women expect a fulfilling relationship, which means an emotional and physical connection. The idea that you could say "yes" to spending the rest of your life with someone and lack confidence in either of those connections is absolutely ludicrous.

What's more, depending on your chemistry, a relationship has the potential to move VERY fast. And that's not anything to apologize for either!

Did Juan Pablo really have to explain himself or beg fans' forgiveness when he had sex with Claire in the ocean? Alright, Juan Pabs was a total tool, so, better example: Did Chris Soules have to bawl and beg forgiveness for "taking a nap" (uh huh, sure!) with Britt?Did ABC even make a big deal about it? Of course not!

The fact that Kaitlyn has even been put in this position, having to explain what happened and being portrayed as a screw-up and a slut who "just wanted to make out with a bunch of guys on TV," as one gentlemanly suitor put it in the promo, is extremely disappointing.

I get that this reality franchise is really all about fantasy, but in the real world, that includes intimacy with a potential spouse. For being the first Bachelorette to drop that long overdue "bombshell," Kaitlyn deserves SO much better. 

Do you wish contestants were more real about sex on the Bachelorette and Bachelor? Why do you think Kaitlyn is being treated differently than say, Juan Pabs or Chris Soules, who both appeared to have had sex before the Fantasy Suites?

Image via kaitlynbristowe/Instagram

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