'Teen Mom' Stars Get an Old-Fashioned Name Makeover -- Wait Until You Hear Jenelle's!

Amber Portwood Catelynn Lowell

OMG. If you haven't been over to TIME and seen the new tool that tells you what you'd be named if you'd been born today as opposed to your actual birth year, you're totally missing out! The results are pretty interesting, so we simply couldn't resist finding out what the ladies of the Teen Mom shows would've been called a long time ago -- like back in 1900.

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Wait until you get a load of just how different their monikers would have been. Let's just say some of these names are definitely not fit for a reality show on MTV!

Amber: Gertrude -- Wow. Gertrude Portwood. Sounds like a fancy brand of whiskey.

Catelynn: Olar -- Olar? Seriously? Yeah ... that's about as unflattering as it gets!

Maci: Orrie -- Aww. Orrie is kinda cute, don't you think? Maci could totally pass for an Orrie. (In 1900, of course.)

Farrah: Brownie -- OMG. This is way too good to be true. She had a porn star name even at the beginning of the last century. Guess you can't stop fate.

Chelsea: Myrtle -- Hey, there are worse things than being named after a beach, right? (At least her name isn't Brownie.)

Jenelle: Gregoria -- Can you think of a more fitting name for Jenelle? It's big. It's bold. And it seems to say, "Back off, bi***."

Leah: Geneva -- Cool. She's named after a posh European city. Sure beats rural West Virginia.

Kailyn: Orrie -- She and Maci are totally soul sisters! Awesome!

What is your 1900s name?

 

Image via catelynnmtv/Instagram

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