'Peter Pan Live!' Was a Nightmare From Never-Ever-Again Land

Peter Pan Live!

I came home late last night, so instead of settling into our usual routine of watching a Netflix show or a movie, my husband and I flipped on the TV just to see what was on. This is unusual for us, since we rely so heavily on DVR’d shows or cable series, and the first thing we stumbled across made no immediate sense whatsoever. There were people singing and dancing around an elaborate stage set. One was clearly Allison Williams from Girls, only she was wearing a weird green outfit and had very little hair. The POV changed back and forth as cameras moved around, tracking the performers. Everyone had, pardon my language, a shitload of makeup on. As I reeled back from the television screen, I realized the visual and auditory atrocity unfolding before my horrified gaze was NBC’s much-hyped Peter Pan Live!

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I may as well confess up front that I’m not a big musical fan. But to be clear, I don’t HATE musicals. I loved Cats when I saw it as a kid, I loved Rent when I saw it as a grownup. I love talented people who can do amazing things in front of an audience, even if those things are not things I personally would listen to in my spare time.

But I really, really think musicals are best experienced in person. The second best experience is seeing a musical performance that’s been produced for the cameras — like, say, 2001’s Moulin Rouge. The charm of television networks airing live musicals, which clearly involve a Herculean amount of stage production but seem bizarre and cheesy when the action plays out from the small screen, completely eludes me.

Nothing against Allison Williams, who seemed very dedicated and sported the sort of admiringly bright strong pearly grin you’d find in a Chiclet box, but I felt like there was something creepy about seeing her as Peter Pan. I know the role is traditionally played by a woman, and I don’t have any ISSUES with men playing women and women playing men, but ... god, I don’t know. Her hair just gave me the heebie-jeebies. Look, if you’re allowed to rant and rave about how the Elf on the Shelf is creepy, I’m allowed to state my opinion that Allison Williams looked like the sort of Peter Pan who would stare holes through your skin in the middle of the night then flay you alive while singing a cheery song.

Plus, was Peter ALWAYS so rudely oblivious to Wendy’s smothering devotion? Wendy, you can do better. Jesus, the hook might have a better shot of being a caring husband.

I’d say that my distaste for Peter Pan has more to do with me being a Grinch than it actually not being very good, but I asked my Twitter friends what they thought of the show and here are a few responses:

 

So I guess I wasn’t alone in being unmoved by Peter’s live-from-New-York! story and NBC’s groveling plea to #SaveTinkerbell. If you saw it, what did you think?


Image via NBC

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