'True Tori' Recap: Tori Finally Sees Dean's 'Mistress' & Confirms Our Worst Fears About Cheaters

Tori SpellingThe second season of True Tori starts with Tori and Dean coming back from a month-long seashore vacation to their "reality" of life wrestling with the demons of their marriage. From the second they get to their mansion, Tori is in a funk, once again obsessing about Dean's "affair" and feeling disconnected from the relationship. Obviously, there is way more going on here than an infidelity. We know that Dean has drug and alcohol issues, but did he cheat more than the show has let on? I'm going to go with yes, given how crushed Tori still is about what happened, but that part still isn't clear. What is clear is that the marriage isn't doing well.

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Things take a turn for the worse when Tori gets it into her head that she wants to see a picture of Emily Goodhand, the woman Dean slept with last year. A lot has been said about whether or not Emily actually exists, and I remember arguing with my coworkers that I could have sworn I'd seen a picture of Emily with the original US Weekly story.

But given how much speculation there's been about her actual existence, I thought maybe my mind was playing tricks on me since I couldn't find her picture online.

But nope. A picture had run with the story, and apparently US Weekly didn't bother putting it online, so at this point it's like Emily is a ghost. In fact, even though Emily had apparently agreed to show her face in the magazine -- the show blurs out her image. Kind of bizarre.

Tori's first look at the "other woman" is quite revealing. "I'm devastated," she breathes upon eyeing up the cause of her marriage's sad state. But, as it turns out, Tori is not devastated because Emily is the doppelganger of Megan Fox. Instead, she's devastated because the woman isn't Megan Fox.

"Am I bitch if I say she's unattractive?" Tori asks.

Any woman who's been cheated on by a man who chose a woman deemed less pretty can understand this peculiar torture. You get why a guy risks it all for Angelina Jolie. You don't get it when a guy risks it all for the dumpy soccer mom with the bad perm.

Seeing Emily's picture sucks Tori into a vortex of insecurity -- she tells her therapist how, a few weeks prior, she'd spied on Dean's phone and found a text message to a woman she didn't know. While the text was nothing major, she asked Dean who she was. Dean had showed her the woman's picture online and crowed, "See? That's what she looks like. You have nothing to be threatened by."

But after seeing Emily's plain Jane face, Tori realizes with a shock that the next woman could be, well, anyone. Tori's reaction sums up all of our worst feelings about cheaters -- they're just not that picky.

As for the pregnancy scare Tori spends most of the show fretting about -- she turns out not to be preggo, which isn't exactly a surprise. If even half of what is going on with her and Dean is true, it would be the dumbest time ever to get pregnant, and despite her taste in men, I don't think Tori is that dumb. (But don't quote me on that.)

The show needs to dig up more pictures of women Dean has cheated with though -- Tori's reactions would be comedy gold.

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Image via Lifetime

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