'Couple's Therapy' Recap: Juan Pablo & Nikki Ferrell's Relationship Is Worse Than We Imagined (VIDEO)

Juan Pablo

Couple's Therapy promises some serious drama this season, what with The Bachelor's Juan Pablo Galavis and Nikki Ferrell and four other troubled couples. Juan and Nikki still seem basically where they were at the end of The Bachelor, Juan ambivalently picking Nikki while holding his emotional cards close to his chest.

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It's clear that the two haven't progressed as much as they'd like us to believe based on their Instagram photos -- in fact, if it wasn't for some real hurt lurking behind Nikki's big brown eyes, I'd say the two were strictly together for the publicity. Juan is clearly a commitmentphobe of the highest order -- the question is whether he's a die-hard narcissist or if he can slowly begin to thaw out and change.

Their first therapy session with Dr. Jenn Berman (who has picked up a strange habit of swearing like a sailor) leans more toward the latter. Apparently the whole thing about Juan refusing to tell Nikki he loves her on the show hasn't changed. You'd think maybe he would have casually whispered it one night after a few too many Polars, or at least in the heat of passion (if they have any), but NOPE. And Nikki is still desperately hoping JP will finally drop the L-bomb.

"I just sometimes feel, like, he’s so, like, nonchalant about things," she tells Dr. Jenn.

JP keeps up his ingenious ruse that not saying "I love you" is a "cultural thing" -- something Nikki seems to buy. "I do understand that in his language, it’s a totally different thing," she says. As if "I love you" in Venezuela means "Slowly cut off my left testicle with a dull knife, please."

Asked by Dr. Jenn to clarify what exactly "I love you" means in his "culture," JP digs himself an even deeper hole by saying that it would mean he can't live without Nikki -- which of course he can. "If she leave me now, I be very sad," he says, not sounding sad at all. "I don't know if I'll die, but I be sad." Uh-huh.

One of the funnier parts of the show occurred when Big Brother's "Evel Dick" asked Juan Pabs how it is that three different women agreed to spend overnighters with him. "So you just f**k one, and then f**k the other, and then f**k the other, and they're okay with that?" he asks, clearly deliriously jealous.

"That's the beauty of that" is JP's ungentlemanly reply, as Nikki stares daggers.

"So," Dick tells the camera. "Okay, you f**ked them all!"

Sounds like it. But at least the other women only got screwed once. Nikki is still getting screwed. Ha!

Do you think Juan Pablo will ever commit to Nikki?

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Image via VH1

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