'Buying Naked': Come for the Naked Homebuyers, Stay for the Bidet Talk

Buying NakedIt seems the latest gambit from television networks to capture our ever-dwindling attention spans is to throw "naked" in the title of a reality show. We've got Naked and Afraid, Naked Castaway, Naked Vegas, Naked Dating, and now we've got TLC's Buying Naked. Buying Naked offers a twist on the familiar real estate reality show concept by focusing on nudists looking for houses in clothing-optional communities.

So: naked couples buying houses. Sounds shlocky, gimmicky, and probably profoundly lame, right? Well, I am fairly certain Buying Naked won't be taking home any Emmys this year, but the specifics of how they filmed and what the show will focus on just might make this worth watching, if only for the cringeworthy humor aspect.


Let's start with the obvious question of how TLC will show the home-shopping nudists. According to Executive Producer Mike Kane, you can expect buns, but no ... uh, wieners.

We didn’t want to have a show that was completely blurred the whole way through. You will see bare rear ends. We don’t have to blur those but you will not see anything else other than that. We have either creatively blocked it [or blurred it] ... but it never goes any further than just the rear ends.

It's the "creative blocking" that promises to be entertaining. In the publicity photos, it looks like the show went to some truly comical lengths to cover up people's naughty bits. I mean, you have to appreciate the placement of this wine bottle:

And these flowers and margarita glass:

If the strategic genitalia obscurement isn't enough to pull you in, perhaps you will share my intrigue in learning about real estate needs that are specific to nudists? Kane says the show will delve into those requirements:

When we get into the actual real estate stuff, it’s kind of focusing on the ... things a nudist buyer would need, like having a bidet is very important and counter tops that are a certain height because [nudists wouldn't be] wearing any pants.

Well sure, the counter thing makes sense, and the ... wait, the bidet is very ... why would it be so ... oh god.

Buying Naked premieres on June 28 -- will you be watching? (Naked?)

Image via TLC

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