'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' Recap: Kris' Broadway Obsession Is Embarrassing

Kris, oh Kris, no.

Girlfriend needs to apologize right now to the millions of super-talented, out-of-work actresses and actors in New York City who would give their left arm to play bit parts in an off-off-off-Broadway show, never mind a leading role in Chicago. After spending five minutes in NYC with Jonathan and another friend, she decides her latest ultimate life goal is to flex her jazz hands on the big stage. There are just a few problems: She can't sing. Or dance. Or act. Or keep her family from falling to the floor laughing when she mentions it. 


I felt genuinely sorry for Kris when she took lessons with her vocal coach and choreographer. It became painfully obvious that when you have money and are as high-profile as Kris Jenner, people are just going to lie to you. She is told she has “perfect pitch.” She is made to believe that her problem is that she can’t remember the lyrics to a song (again, apologize to the many actresses who had the lyrics to "All That Jazz" memorized by age 8) when the real problem is that she has a fine enough voice -- for karaoke. But she shouldn’t be made to believe she can be on Broadway.

Jonathan had the line of the night when he said it best: "I think she wants to be in the play. I don't know if they want her to be in the play." Kim, who I like more and more these days, can’t help but laugh, which cuts Kris to the bone. Thank goodness for her friend Kathie Lee Gifford, who sweetly reminds Kris that the life of a Broadway actress is no joke and that she doesn’t think she has it in her to balance her family’s needs and all of her other responsibilities with rehearsals and performances in eight shows a week.

Naturally, Kris does what every serious performer would. She decides to give up her dream-of-all-dreams after three days of trying in order to -- who knows -- perhaps take up miming next week.

Next topic: Kim has leaky boobs. No, just kidding -- there isn’t much to say here, but it is worth noting that Kim does indeed have a baby hiding somewhere in the Jenner mansion. If you don’t believe her, just check out how much her boobs are leaking. That will have to suffice for now because we still didn’t get a peek at the cute tyke.

On to more important things: Khloe is living out of her car and jumps at the chance to shack up with Rob in his condo when he makes the offer. He admits they become co-dependent when they're together too often, and you just know this is going to end in tears. I know Rob is trying to focus on his business -- which can totally be done outside of his home -- but I couldn’t understand all of his talk about how his sister would surely thwart his efforts to lose 60 pounds. He goes berserk when Khloe puts cheese in his fridge. And all those nice candles in his kitchen -- how dare she! And, goddamn, in which maple cabinet did she have the audacity to store his protein powder.

Seriously?? Dude, you can lose weight even with her chicken cooking in the oven. On the other hand, take a hint, Khloe. Rob loves you, but he doesn’t want you there. Is it fair? No. You were good to him and let him stay with you and Lamar. He owes you. But it just isn’t happening right now for Rob. Was anyone the least bit surprised when he asked her to leave?

Speaking of people who can’t take a hint -- Scott, my man, Kourtney is on to your every trick. She and her friend Nicole find out their men are planning to host an event at a strip club in Las Vegas and they totally plan to bust them. She calls Scott when they land in Vegas and he outright lies to her about his whereabouts. Instead of throwing a fit, she pulls a Kourtney and rolls up to the club ready to party and looking amazing. Holy hell, Scott better appreciate how cool Kourtney is because his silly behavior would not fly in most relationships. Even weirder: was that not the tamest "stripper" event you’ve ever seen? It’s like he’s lying to her for sport these days. Get your act together, Scotty-boy.

What did you think of Kris’ efforts to be on Broadway? Do you think Khloe has a right to be angry at Rob? 

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