'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Here's What Kyle Richards & Hannibal Lecter Have in Common

kim richardsIf The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has been deliberately doling out only bite-sized morsels of Kim Richards this season so that we might all more fully appreciate tonight's hearty-serving of excellence, then I applaud the efforts of all those involved. After so much strife, it warmed every valve of my usually frigid heart to see Kim as she helped her daughter prepare for her high school graduation. As a side note, I also very much enjoyed learning that Kyle Richards keeps herself youthful with the assistance of a device called "the Hannibal Lecter" -- carry on, pop culture, for lo, you please me.


But back to Kim. I was also reminded that she named her daughter after what she loves most in the world -- herself. (*Drops mic, walks away, probably while doing the Dougie*) In doing so, she has earned a bronze plaque on the Wall of Awesome I currently keep in the basement of my apartment building. Don't tell my super. He doesn't like to talk about it. He is the curator and I am NOT paying him very well (read: at all).

While Kim was left to contend with flashing through every memory of her daughter's life as well as the spiteful machinations of Kathy Hilton (seriously though, who is she to criticize anyone else while swanning around town in a tiger print caftan?), Yolanda Forester also had her own special ceremony to prepare for. In the trade, that is what we call THE BEST OF ALL SEGUES. I mean the literary device, not the means of conveyance. And more's the pity, really. 

That's right, David Foster Wallace received his star in the walk of fame. Stevie Wonder was there, and so was Yolanda's brother who is fond of Dutch cookies and cannon-balling into pools. Yolanda was glowing, it was all very charming. I preferred this week's theme of "familial celebration" to the also-present leitmotif of "everyone bitches about cleaning up dog feces."

In other news, Brandi Glanville admitting to sucking Carlton Gebbia's tongue. Lisa Vanderpump was put in a tizzy by this revelation and Brandi's lower-half inadvertently consumed the idea-of-a-bikini-bottom she was trying on during this conversation. CARRY ON EVERYONE!

Carlton is a beautiful mystery to me. I need to keep a running list of things she does that further enrapture me. Thus far it includes cursing at her children (glorious), having no time for the bullshit and bee-murder perpetrated by others, casually mentioning that her child's godmother's husband is Slash, and taking her cat to receive acupuncture. Carlton. Marry me. Give me acupuncture. Both?! 

Do we think Carlton and Brandi are a thing now? Or is this just Brandi being Brandi?


Image via Bravo 

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