'Dracula' Premiere Recap: Sexy Vampires Have Never Been So Snooze-Worthy (VIDEO)


Between the True Blood hiatus and the end of the Twilight film franchise, NBC's decision to throw yet another vampire-themed series into the mix seems, at first, like a smart move -- after all, there's a fang-loving fan base out there with nothing to watch! But will Dracula, starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers of The Tudors, fill the gore-hungry gap as the network is no doubt hoping? Um ... well, that depends. (Read: Probably not.) 

Look, it's like this: Vampire fans want two things out of their entertainment, essentially -- tons of sex and tons of scary stuff. Dracula is sexy, for sure (prepare to hear lots and lots about Rhys Meyers' "washboard abs"), but is it scary?


Ummmmm ... yeah, not so much. Thing is, there's way to much plot happening here -- and not the ridiculously twisted vine type plots True Blood uses to fill the moments in between naked Alexander Skarsgard shots. Dracula's plot is BORING. Set in 19th century London, the show revolves around the ancient vampire's quest for revenge (apparently a bunch of bad guy fangers known as The Order of the Dragon killed his wife a long-ass time ago), which he seeks to exact by way of ... making "geomagnetic power a practical reality and [wiping] out the Order’s investments in oil.”

Wow, that's ... terrifying.

WHAT?! Dracula's gonna get back at his enemies by railing against unsustainable sources of energy and driving down the price of petroleum?? 


Who knows, maybe the series will pick up after this premiere episode. Maybe now that the premise has been set, the writers will wisely choose to ignore the dull details and get down to the business of bloodlust in a more interesting way. But maybe not.

Either way, here's a clip of Jonathan Rhys Meyers looking handsome: 

See what I mean? Snore ...

What did you think of the Dracula premiere?


Image via USA Today

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