'Real Housewives of Miami' Recap: Marysol Patton Calls Out Lea Black Once & For All

lea black and marysol pattonDon Quixote by Miguel Cervantes is a study in friendship, idealism, and the insanity that drives romance. The women of Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami are far more ignoble than the righteous if troubled Man of La Mancha. But even so, they have windmills against which they must tilt, mistaking them for dragons in the fever-pitch of their mission-driven delusion.

Though a portion of this week was spent with everyone's favorite sexually stymied duo Romain Zago and Joanna Krupa, the meat of the episode for me centered around Marysol Patton and Lea Black. Marysol's mother is out of the hospital, but Marysol cannot find happiness or peace. Instead, she names Lea as an aggressor and will not rest until she is defeated.  


Before the conflict between Marysol and Lea reached a head, we had some chum to wade through on our quest. Namely, Joanna quietly coming to realize that Romain isn't doing her, because he wants to be in charge in the boudoir. This is something everyone at home (or at least my baby brother) has known from go.

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Spunky little Lisa Hochstein continued to assert her personality this week, coming out as staunchly pro-Lea (the Birkin bag might have helped) and no pushover. When Adriana De Moura (she of the senseless wedding with a costume change required for HER GUESTS) tried to give her guff about being one of Joanna's bridesmaids as well as one of her own, Lisa shrugged her off. Essentially Lisa just went:

It was a thing of beauty. Then came Alexia Echevarria's birthday party, and the scene of Marysol and Lea's battle. I blame the intravenously fed cocktail of vitamins for Marysol's stunning break with reality. Seriously though -- vitamins. Injected. Into. Your. Veins. I went from "NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS" to "I AM VAGUELY CURIOUS AND WONDER IF LIFEBOOKER OFFERS A DEAL OF THIS NATURE." Because I am a splendid engima.

Chock-full of her strange herbs, Marysol went after Lea for not reaching out to her mother, Elsa Patton, after her fall and stroke. Poor Lea. She did her best to frantically cover her bases, but Marysol wasn't dealing in the realm of the sane. I wish Lea had just relaxed, sighed, and said: "Look. We were fighting. I didn't want to make things more difficult. I'm sorry if it that was the wrong move. Truly." But she didn't say that. She defended herself and maybe fibbed even though she didn't have to. The argument kind of ruined Alexia's birthday party. Not even Lea's sassy self-righteous assistant or the dudes carrying champagne with sparklers attached to the bottles could fix things. Though the girls popping out of the cakes might have helped.

Has Lea lost her edge? Do you think she was lying about sending cards to Marysol's mom?


Images via Bravotv.com/Imgur

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