'Princesses: Long Island' Recap: A Sugar Daddy Is Nice Except When He's Your Real Daddy

Ashlee and her dad

The dysfunction in Princesses: Long Island was on full display during last night's episode. But the scene that screamed oedipal complex was the one when Ashlee White was prepping for her big 30th birthday party.

Let me set the scene: Ashlee still lives at home with her parents and she's turning 30 (and therein lies the first thing wrong with this situation, but that's just the tip of the iceberg). Ashlee's parents are throwing her this over-the-top bash to celebrate her special day, and all I can keep thinking is: does she realize that she's turning 30, not 12, and that her bat mitzvah was 18 years ago? But lest you think I am giving Ashlee a hard time for embracing her 30s when I should be showering her with mazel tovs, you need to keep reading. What her daddy Hal does next will confirm that he is completely codependent and needs an intervention stat.


As if throwing his daughter a very lavish and expensive birthday party weren't enough, Hal comes down the stairs while Ashlee's sister is doing her makeup and says words that should be reserved for her future husband.

"I don't like your fingers being naked. You need something to make those fingers sparkle," says Hal.

Ashlee's Daddy then whips out a GIGANTIC diamond ring and proceeds to set the bar for any potential husband impossibly high. I mean, what young guy has that kind of dough to spend on a ring that size?

Then Hal says, "Now say 'I do' and don't cry because there's no time to fix your makeup."

Does anyone else, other than me, find something both creepy and highly dysfunctional with the bequeathing of a diamond ring by a father to his 30-year-old daughter? Hal then proceeds to place the ring on Ashlee's finger; she says "I do" and then it's back to her usual whining.

Ashlee continues to prep and proceeds to throw a mini tantrum that her hair "cannot look like prom curls." Hal continues to tell her how perfect she is but tells her to stop adjusting her boobs and that he is waiting for the day "the ring is on the other finger."

If I were Ashlee, I'd feel very confused at this point. Luckily for us, all Ashlee is truly concerned with is if her father approves of her shoe choice. And he does so it's off to the big bash for the White family.

But the best part of this episode was when Joey and Erica arrive and the party place is located in a strip mall. Joey seems confused and says she is not feeling this location at all. She doesn't see the correlation between shopping center and glamorous roll-out-the-red-carpet birthday bash.

Always quipping with one-liners, Joey says, "So when we're done here, are we going to go get some supplies and then go to Izod? I'm not sure where over the top and shopping center go together?"

Once inside the space, Joey and Erica are both taken aback by the men dressed in latex shorts with glasses of hummus strapped to their crotches. Of course, all the girls do a little hummus dipping and all is right in Long Island again.

But when Ashlee reveals her big birthday gift, because having a lavish party thrown in your honor is simply not enough, Joey utters the LINE OF THE NIGHT. "The ring is gorgeous and everyone needs a sugar daddy. But someone should just tell Ashlee it shouldn't be your own daddy."

Should a dad buy his daughter a diamond ring?


Image via Bravo

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