Chelsea Handler & Piers Morgan Fight in Awesomely Mean TV Host Snarkfest (VIDEO)

Chelsea Handler Piers MorganI've never understood why it is that I love most foul-mouthed, obnoxious comediennes, but am usually completely turned off by Chelsea Handler. Maybe it's that she's never really seemed all that hilarious to me. I feel like most of her fame has come from saying completely outrageous things about untouchable people, but none of it is usually funny. At any rate, I wasn't expecting much from this buzzed-about clip of her talking to Piers Morgan ... until I watched it.

If there's one television personality who's definitively more annoying than Chelsea Handler, it's got to be Piers Morgan, right? So you can imagine what happens when the two of them meet in front of the cameras: oil and water. Nitro and glycerin. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together -- mass hysteria!

Yeah, Piers Morgan's appearance on Chelsea Handler's talk show Wednesday night was what you might call awkward. And I'm reluctant to say it, but Chelsea OWNED his smarmy ass.


Right in the opening seconds of the show, Morgan threw in a dig at Handler's appearance as he sat down:

You either had plastic surgery or make up, because you look really hot today.

Now, here's where I have to give Handler credit, because that sort of weaselly backhanded compliment would have totally thrown me for a loop. (The only appropriate response I can think of is "Fuck you" -- but you can't say that on TV.) Handler came right back with,

You're so annoying! You're so obnoxious, you wonder why everybody hates you. I specifically covered up so you couldn't look at me and undress me with your molester eyes.

Ha. MOLESTER EYES. And it's true, people do hate Piers Morgan. I mean, if 100,000 opinionated petition-signers had gotten their way, he'd be deported right now.

Morgan went on to rag on Handler's interviewing skills, and offered to help her. Her response:

You can suck my ass. I mean, really.

Here's the clip:

Of course, Morgan didn't let things go afterwards -- he went straight to Leno to continue talking about his interaction with Handler:

She told me to suck her a**. Now, I’m an English gentleman, and we just don’t do that kind of thing where I come from, so I have to make myself very clear. (...) I think she was flirting. She was misreading the signals.

At the end of the day, a public tussle between two controversial celebrities is good for both of them. Who knows what they really feel about each other, maybe they're secretly BFFs who know how to boost ratings. Publicity ploy or not, though, I kind of love Handler for bitch-slapping Morgan this way. Even though they're BOTH annoying, Morgan deserved it for the low blow to her looks. I mean, that was pretty rich coming from a guy who must've exhausted hundreds of Photoshop-slaves to create this stunning image:

Who do you think won this particular battle of the talk show wits?

Images via E!, Burger King

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