'Girls' Recap: Hannah Totally Screws Adam Over By Calling the Po-Po

Hannah does some dumb things. This we know. Things that make you want to scream at the TV saying No no no no no! Though it's Marni who had that role last week when she had sex with Elijah. But this week, Hannah not only talks about the stat on how two out of three people on death row are black men to her black boyfriend, she goes on to question why he's republican and surpressing the rights of her gay friends to get married.

She's talking about her gay bestie rommate ex-boyfriend Elijah who just had sex with her other best friend ex-roomie Marni. This episode of Girls, "I Get Ideas", got a little crazy. Hannah's worst idea, though, was calling 911. More spoilers ahead!


Before we get into that though, did you happen to catch when George was breaking up with Elijah because he did the deed with Marni that they were standing in front of an open closet? A color-coded shirt-filled closet. Elijah was having a hard time admitting it was actual sex because it was "2 1/2 pumps" before he lost his boner.

Clearly this whole sex with a gay/bi man who is her friend's boyfriend with HPV has really gotten to Marni because she ends up taking a job that hired her because of her looks thanks in part to Shosh who after the throes of chatty passion with Ray tells her she can make a bajillion bucks a week hostessing at fancy clubs. We see in previews that the art guy with the potty mouth who got Marni all horny last season shows up at that club. You know who that guy is? Jorma Taccone who is in the comedy/band The Lonely Island with Andy Samburg and responsible for such melodies as "Dick In a Box" and "I Just Had Sex." Oh yeah! His character on Girls is named Booth Jonathan. Yes, he's an artiste. I love this cast!

I did give Hannah crap for her terrible undies last week, but at this weeks she starts out wearing some sort of snow jacket while cozy in her room. It's what she was wearing when sitting on her bed with the Elijah, the very dude who unbeknownst to her just 2 1/2 pump screwed her best friend. They were watching Adam's shirtless video song montage reminiscent of John Cusack circa Say Anything but the modern version -- sent by gmail to try to win Hannah back. Because hotmail is for old people like George, of course. Snicker.

Why is Hannah dressed like this? No heat in the apartment? Some sort of weight loss fad? Adam, of course, is shirtless. Hello! He's so intense.

We got some more of Jessa and Thomas John this episode. They are in mushy love and got matching tiger tattoos. He gifts her puppies, which Jessa and Hannah end up naming Garbage, Fu*ker, and Hanukkah. And when Hannah looks to Jessa for advice on her new republican boyfriend who hasn't read her essay yet, she gives it to her straight. Jessa said as long as your rising signs are compatible, the sex is decent, and he's supportive creatively then you're golden. Words to live by! Hannah's all oh crap and probably just starring at Jessa's tomato-colored bra visible in every scene she's in. You know you were, too. She's the opposite of Hannah with those frumpy flesh colored numbers. Be sure to say tomato the British way when you read that. Toe-mott-toe. Sexy!

GOP Sandy, though, has read Hannah's essay but didn't want to say anything because he thought they sucked. That bothers her more than the fact he's republican. Their fight was kind of pathetic. He accuses her of having a black guy fetish. She flips it and reverses it saying that he has a white girl fetish. And just like that, they're done. I was counting the minutes until Hannah would be back having sex with Adam or worse, Elijah, but no.  

Instead she's cutting her bangs with the help of a YouTube tutorial. And gets a text from Adam. Here it comes, I thought! More Adam sex! But no. She toys with calling 911 when getting him milk after he lets himself into her apartment with the key he still had, but hangs up. Ho hum. Totally a drama Greenpoint/Williamsburg girl move, Hannah. Only the cops actually do show up (say what?!) and I guess the heat was working in the apartment that night because Hannah's wearing a cute cami set that looks to be from Anthropologie. Yay for that! Adam gets handcuffed due to this call plus some outstanding parking tickets and a public urination citation. Yikes. What happened to his full leg cast? Now the dude's going to jail. Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. I'm all for torturing men when they are shitbags, but I think he's paid his dues and those puppy dog eyes definitely show he is in L-O-V-E. Sigh.

I missed my eye candy Charlie this week. I want to know how Marni's little sleepover went. I vote for a lacy babydoll for Hannah next week.

Are you watching Girls? What was your favorite moment?


Images via HBO

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