Entertainment

15 'Real Housewives' Share Their Tips on Making Marriage Work

EntertainmentPublished Nov 6, 2019
By Damarys Ocaña Perez
Kylie Richards and husband Mauricio Umanskymumansky18/Instagram

In case no one told ya, it's not easy staying married in Hollywood. Tinseltown has been known to chew up and spit out even couples who have the best of intentions when they say "I do." Marriages succumb to too much of everything: fame, money, affairs, travel, ambitions, addiction. The odds may be worse in reality TV, where, on Real Housewives shows alone, 35 couples and counting have filed for divorce since the franchise started on Bravo an unlucky 13 years ago. But there are exceptions: solid Real Housewives couples who have avoided the reality TV divorce curse, lived to love another day, and start families and the lives they envisioned.

And these cast members have plenty to say about it.   

These are the people who give us hope, because as much as viewers get a kick out of the catfights, backstabbing, and bickering among cast members, it's a bummer when a couple they invest in -- and maybe even watched get married on TV -- calls it quits. 

The setup of reality TV shows, with their confessionals and cameras that are invited in to almost every aspect of the cast members' lives, lends it self to figuring out how successful couples make it work. And there's a lot to learn. Some couples, like Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd, have been married nearly 40 years and know that supporting each other is key. Others, like Monique and Chris Samuels, tied the knot just a few years ago, but have already figured out how to fight right.

A number of Real Housewives (current and newly departed) are opening up about their marriages and how they make them work. What they're sharing is revealing, to say the least -- from the importance of separate bathrooms, to taking lots of time to know the other person before walking down the aisle.

These are tips everyone can learn from.

1/15

Lisa Vanderpump

The Queen Bee of RHOBH has been married to Ken Todd, former soccer player and her business partner, for 37 years. (They tied the knot when Lisa was just 21.) Lisa credits taking their marriage vows seriously, and to Ken's unwavering support. "Obviously, things have changed in my life, especially ... since I was catapulted into the spotlight of reality television," Lisa reveals. "I think that having that support as a partner is really an integral part of your security."

2/15

Kyle Richards

For Kyle Richards, choosing the right partner is key to a long-lasting marriage. She and her real estate mogul husband, Mauricio Umansky, have been together since they were kids, so the actress and last remaining original RHOBH cast member knew him well enough to know she'd picked a good one. "It's important to let your partner grow, and change, and be themselves," Kyle says. "If you kind of step back and let that person grow, you can grow together, and evolve together."

3/15

Dorit Kemsley

She may be the annoying cast member fans love to hate on RHOBH, but Dorit has got a great relationship with husband Paul, a real estate developer, as their marriage is built on support. "We're really connected. I love this man through and through," Dorit declares. "All the ups and downs he's there for, and gives me great advice and he's such a rock."

4/15

Monique Samuels

They've been hitched since 2012, but there's no sign yet of a seven-year itch in Monique and Chris Samuels' marriage. That's because they're learned to fight right. The Real Housewives of Potomac star says that they make a point to communicate and have an unconventional way of dealing with disagreements: They discuss a week's worth  or arguments only on Sundays, after they've had a chance to cool down. "It got to the point where we were getting so good at it that nobody wanted to be the one getting dogged out on Sunday. So we started just experiencing peace," Monique notes.

5/15

Joyce Giraud

The Puerto Rican former beauty queen's formula for a successful union with husband Michael Ohoven is one any couple can adopt. It's based on friendship, respect, and love. "My husband is my best friend, and I'd rather spend my time with him than with anybody else," Joyce exclaims. "It's important to respect each other, to always think of how to make each other happy and to allow your partner to live the life they want."

6/15

Heather Dubrow

Heather and Terry Dubrow run a business, host a podcast, and write books together. But the key to their relationship success, Heather says: "Separate bathrooms."

The former Real Housewives star also says the importance of getting on will help keep married couples says "I do" again and again.

"It's very hard when you have kids that are little because you're living in diapers and feces and you're exhausted, but you have to do it, you have to just make it happen, Heather admits. "Because it's very easy to get disconnected."

7/15

Kandi Burruss

It hasn't been all smooth sailing for Kandi, one of the highest-paid Housewives, and husband Todd Tucker, who struggled early in their marriage during time apart and have butted heads over money issues. But the RHOA star says, teamwork makes their dream work. "I've always felt like I've been a go-getter and I make things happen, but ever since our marriage, I think it has pushed me times 100 thousand," Kandi reveals.

8/15

Teddi Mellencamp

Reconnection is vital for the health of a marriage, says Teddi Mellencamp. She and husband Edwin Arroyave caught themselves slacking off on their relationship recently, something that's not uncommon for long-term couples. So they did what was necessary to stay on track. "We're in constant communication and we’ve set our schedule so that we have our bonding time and it was that little reminder that, this is us, and we're a team, and it’s important that we band together," Teddi admits.

9/15

Karen Huger

The grand dame of Real Housewives of Potomac and hubby Raymond have been rocking marriage for 23 years. Karen learned early on that compromise is key in making it work after making the mistake. "Many moons ago, I was determined to hold onto my independence but still be Mrs. Huger, come and go as I please, do as I want," Karen confesses. "He felt lonely. So I had to really strike a balance to get us through that patch."

Now?

They're "solid as a rock."

10/15

D'Andra Simmons

For Real Housewives of Dallas castmate D'Andra Simmons, there's nothing quite like being married to a guru. "My husband is such a chill, easy going guy and he's still that person, but he's also full of wisdom and good advice," she says.

11/15

Stephanie Hollman

Head to marriage counseling as a way to keep trouble at bay before it starts. That's Real Housewives of Dallas star Stephanie Hollman's advice on keeping a marriage humming along. "We did it before season 1 even aired because I was afraid that I would lost myself in this process," she says. "I just feel like that's the way to do it."

12/15

Melissa Gorga

To many RHONJ viewers, the marriage of fan favorites Melissa and Joe Gorga might seem perfect, but she'll be the first to admit they're working furiously to keep it on track. Melissa says that it's been hard to balance her boutique, show obligations, and family time, leading to heated arguments with Joe.

And that's OK.

"At the end of the day you really have to have the true love for one another, because if you don't, you're not gonna get through this," Melissa explains. "We're gonna fight for our love, our kids."

13/15

Tamra Judge

The marriage vows "in good times and in bad, through sickness and in health" became real for Tamra Judge when husband Eddie developed a serious heart condition. Tamra stuck by his side, through multiple hospitalizations and his depression. "It brought us closer a lot closer together."

14/15

Lisa Rinna

A reality TV marriage largely without conflict. What a concept! Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin have been married for 22 years, and it's worked despite major differences in personality. "We're so opposite," she says. "We have nothing in common -- and I truly mean that. Like, zero ... He's into rockets and astrophysics. I'm into shopping."

Open communication bridges the gap.

15/15
Erika Jayne-placeholder
Erika Jayne
Bravo

Erika Jayne

The resident wild child of RHOBH met her husband, Thomas Girardi, when she was a cocktail waitress and believes that establishing a friendship before delving into romance has made a difference in their marriage, which has survived an age gap of 33 years. "We had conversations for a year before we ever went out on one date," she confesses. "So I really got to know him in all different kinds of areas. Sometimes when you have a failed marriage, the second time around you say, 'Wait a minute. What's really important here?' What was really important was my relationship with Tom."

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