Jenelle Evans Is 'Slowly Dying' But What Else Is New?

jenelle evansYou guys, I'm really worried about Jenelle Evans! Did you see that tweet she sent out? "God, I'm dying slowly..." Do you think it might be a cry for help? Totally biting my nails over this! What awful turmoil must have Jenelle in its merciless grasp. Is it a brain tumor? Early onset of Alzheimer's? Leprosy? A flesh-eating bacteria? A really, really slow-eating shark? What if ... what if ...

What if this is just Jenelle being a drama queen as usual? She's no more in peril than she usually is. Call off the emergency response team. Go back to your knitting or your Internet porn or both, as the case may be. It's true that Jenelle is dying slowly, but it's not exactly a crisis.


I guess this was just over having an ovarian cyst removed. Newsflash! It hurts. We feel for her, we really do. That must just suck. I hope I never have to have an ovarian cyst removed. Since recovering from that near-death ordeal she's driven to Carolina, gotten some highlights, and had her nails done, so apparently she's fine now, thanks for caring. But you know what I think this is really about? This is Jenelle coming to terms with the same thing we all must face: We are ALL dying slowly.

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Yes, what we have witnessed here with this profound tweet is a young woman's confrontation with mortality. It could have something to do with having an off week with Keiffer, or with her sister's announcement that she's bound to OD on drugs any day now. But Jenelle is not about to bid farewell to this mortal coil, not while she's still commanding some of that Teen Mom spotlight.

This is just Jenelle realizing that she might die ... you know, someday. And before THAT happens, looooong before that happens, people are going to grow bored with her and move on to other hapless teen moms. (Oh you have, already?) She's going to fade into obscurity probably before her 25th birthday. And then what? What will she do when people stop responding her Twitter cries for help? Probably follow in Octomom's footsteps is my guess.

Is Jenelle really in trouble or just stirring up drama as usual?


Image via MTV

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