'Breaking Bad' Recap: Walt's Mysterious Twisted Plan

Breaking Bad(Warning: as always, spoilers ahead.) So listen, can we begin this with a group bitch session over the most disturbing sentence uttered during this week's Breaking Bad? Specifically, the nagging voiceover revelation after the show ended that reminded us there are only two -- two! -- episodes left before the second half of season 5 debuts … NEXT SUMMER? Man, I knew this season was being split up, but it's still kind of a shock to realize we're almost at the end of the first half. Dammit, AMC, this is worse than when The Walking Dead went on hiatus after jerking us around with that crappy Sophia storyline.

ANYWAY. Let's chat about tonight's Breaking Bad -- starting with that insanely grim opening scene:


I mean, the spooky music, the wordless focus of the men dismantling the kid's bike, the gruesome metaphor of them taking it apart (the engine, sitting there like a heart) before dissolving the pieces in acid … just as they were presumably about to do with the boy's body. And finally, Jesse's deeply satisfying right hook to Todd's oddly punchable face. Then, FADE TO: opening credits.

God, I love Breaking Bad's opens.

So both Mike and Jesse decide they want out of the meth business (was Jesse's decision fueled, perhaps, by Walt's cheery whistling as he suited up after Jesse broke down in tears over the murdered boy? And was it just me, or did Walt intensify the fucked-uppedness of that moment by whistling a Bob Marley tune? Don't worry … 'bout a thing …), and Mike has a convenient connection for offloading their shares of the methylmene. Jesse tries to get Walt to jump on the Buyout Train, but he's not having any of this piddling $5 million garbage. He is, as he explains, not in the meth business or the money business -- he's in the empire business.

(Solid reference back to Walt's Gray Matter backstory from season one, by the way. That's just good TV-makin' right there, and nicely rounds out Walt's character arc -- he's a man who feels cheated out of a legacy.)

Mike's connections aren't satisfied with buying 2/3 of the methylmene, though, they want to put Heisenberg out of business. So Jesse goes back to Walt to try and convince him, which leads to the most awkward dinner party of all time between Jesse, Walt, and Skyler. Those moments of comic relief are awfully welcome when they come along, aren't they? Hells yeah frozen lasagna cheese gets scabby, but come on, Jesse, that's the best part.

Walt tries to sneak off to gank the methylmene, but d'oh, there's Mike, one step ahead like always. Well, one step ahead until he inexplicably leaves Walt fastened to a radiator, which allows Walt to go all Mr. Wizard to break free, but whatever, free pass on that one. Sleep deprivation is a bitch. (Still, maybe use an actual handcuff next time?)

At the end, Walt presents Mike and Jesse with a mysterious new plan, one that allows him to cook, while Jesse and Mike can still walk with their $5 mil. "Everybody wins," Walt says, with an evil grin. Aaaaand … fade to black.

What's going to happen next? My best guess is that Walt is going to pitch his product to Mike's connections. Instead of eliminating the competition, they'll become his new distribution partners. Mike, I fear, is destined to die by Walt's hand. (Walt will not be able to forgive the power Mike held over him.) Todd will certainly reemerge in some unpleasant way. As for Jesse … I have no idea, but I'm rooting for him. Yo, Jesse, you are choice.

Did you like this week's Breaking Bad? What do you think Walt's plan is?

Image via AMC

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