Let’s Hope Snooki Treats Her Baby As Well As She Does Her Beer

snookie beer strollerPoor Snooki! All she wanted was to host a party for her fellow meatballs -- because the prenatal vitamins make her freakin' manic, okay? Yes, she's out-to-there preggers, but she can still make it a fun time for her friends, can't she? So she goes to the store, and she picks up some beer, and ...

Can you just hear how Snooki would say it? "Hey, check out my beer cart! Have you seen it? It's PERFECT for rolling home my our your beer! There's even a little belt you can strap over the case so nothing falls out. And a cute hood thingy on top to keep the beer from getting warm. Whoever invented this beer cart really knew what they were doing, right?!? What's that? This isn't a beer cart?"

No, Snooki. This isn't a beer cart. Think about it. It'll come to you.

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Or maybe it won't. Will someone please fill her in? See, you're having this baby soon. And you'll need to move that baby around places, right? So right ... yes, you do have arms, Snooki. But eventually your arms get tired plus you've got that huge handbag and your jar of pickles. Plus we just don't trust you with a sling or a Baby Bjorn. Hello, Snooki + baby + sling = recipe for disaster! So that's why the stroller was invented.

You seatbelt the baby in there and you ... yes, Snooki, you do have to keep pushing it because it does not push itself. Also that tall chair thing in your kitchen? It's a high chair for the baby to sit in, not an extra-tall bottle opener. SIGH. Hoo boy, we are in for a big, big learning curve.

By the way, don't you love the way she stares wistfully into the distance like that? It's like she's thinking, "Alors, je me souviens de les days of my debauchery, et il sont mangifique!" Snooki, so full of ennui, so nostalgic for last season's Jersey Shore.

How long do you think before Snooki figures out what that stroller is really for?

 

Image via Pacific Coast News

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