'The Bachelorette's' Guide On How To Play the Kid Card

emily maynard and doug

The Bachelorette won't teach us a whole lot about dating in the real world. You are not going to find those 25 to 1 odds in a woman's favor anywhere else. What you will learn, however, is how and when to reveal you have kids, which is a real issue for single parents looking for love.

Of course being a single mom is what Emily Maynard's story is all about. But she's not the only one navigating the season with a ready-made family. The very first moment Seattle realtor Doug met he, he laid on the news about his 11-year-old son. "I talked to my son last night and he said 'I miss you a little, but go have fun!'" he told her. Maynard later said, "It's cool to have someone here who gets what I'm going through. Missing your other half is heartbreaking, so you have made me feel really comfortable and good about myself."

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To Doug, I say, well played sir, well played. Not that it's a game, but it is a very delicate dance. The key, it seems, is to come off as sincere. Later on that night he gave Emily a letter his son had written to her explaining why his dad was so great. Cheesy? Yes. But a good way to win over a fellow parent. It puts your child front and center.

However, the other single dad Tony, a Beaverton, Oregon lumber trader, may have waited too long to make the big reveal. He didn't tell Emily until right before the second rose ceremony, which seemed like a desperate attempt to pull at her heart strings and stay in the game. Of course this scenario is far from reality for most of us, but I would pose the same question to every single parent: Why wait?

Many women have said they want the guy to fall head-over-heels with them first. The idea of being rejected just because you have a child is brutal. You don't want him to cut and run before he gets a chance to really know you. But how does he know the real you if he doesn't know you are a mom. And ask yourself, do you really want someone who would bolt just because you are?

And what could hiding this information say about you? Some people call it a lie by omission. You don't want to get dumped because he doesn't trust you.

Being a parent is so much apart of who we are, it seems unwise to hide it from someone you are dating. It's scary, I know. There are plenty of jerks out there, but there are also guys who will want you no matter what comes with the relationship. The key is being patient while you search and proud of all that you have to offer.

Have you ever hidden the fact you have kids from a date?

 

Image via ABC

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