'Jersey Shore' Recap: A Desperate Situation

The Situation and The UnitWell, we almost got there on Jersey Shore tonight. From the very beginning of this season Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino has been plotting and threatening just how he will tell Jionni that he and Snooki slept together while she was with Jionni. He's salivated and stewed over the details, and like the psychotic loser he is, he just couldn't let it go.

His first move on tonight's episode was to try and paint himself as a stand-up guy, which was so very many days late and an atrocious amount of dollars short. Buying breakfast for his roommates and actually working at work was nice, but it did nothing to erase his snake-like actions.

"She tried to play me like a chess piece recently," he said, "So the girl's got to get her medicine!"

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Anyone who gets that much pleasure out of the thought of making someone else suffer has some serious problems. The fact that he goes around saying things like, "There definitely should be a butter named after me because I’m so smooth," just compounds that fact.

Then it was time to make his move at the club, but not without The Unit. For some bizarre reason Mike thinks his story will be more credible if it's backed up by this loser -- the witness. So they're at the club, and he's ready to make his move ... only Jionni's parents are there. Blocked! Then he tries again but Snooki (with toilet paper trailing on her heel) and Jionni are headed out the door. Thwarted! So Mike grabs The Unit and heads home, because the evil master plan must be carried out. Only The Unit got so wasted he could barely walk, and he got arrested. Foiled again!

At this point, you might think Mike would consider that all signs were pointing to the fact that he shouldn't be doing this, but we're talking about Mike here. He had no intention of aborting his mission.

Then he got a stroke of luck. The next morning Jionni came out for some water without Snooki, and Mike pounced. He told him he had something to tell him, then led him outside for the big reveal. Of course, then the episode ended, so it's getting dragged out even longer. Imagine that. 

The thing is that with all of the rumors about Snooki's pregnancy this week that are all but confirmed, we know (or almost know) that Mike's news doesn't matter. Snooki and Jionni weathered whatever Mike told him, and they're probably stronger for dealing with it. Mike, on the other hand, gained nothing but a big old dose of karma ... and I don't mean the night club.

Do you think Mike is justified in his big reveal? Are you sick of seeing it drawn out this long?


Image via MTV

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