'Real Housewives of Orange County' Recap: Portrait of a Doomed Friendship

Gretchen Rossi and Tamra BarneyTonight on The Real Housewives of Orange County, we started where we left off last week with a sobbing Tamra Barney who realized she'd gone too far in her jealous rage/boob grabbing incident. She and Eddie talked things out and seemingly were back on track, but wow did she reveal her needy side. Needy and crazy jealous really, declaring that Vicki Gunvalson and Eddie aren't allowed to touch at all. Ever.

That's just one of many reasons Tamra's friendship with Gretchen Rossi -- which was finally and flagrantly revealed to Vicki tonight -- isn't going to work. If she was worried about Eddie being interested in Vicki over a few little high fives, can you imagine the drama potential when Eddie is around the younger, hotter, flirty-as-hell likes of Gretchen?

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Oh for now they're having a great time. First there was their little romp to the sex toy store, where they bonded over a blow job helper that everyone needs, because didn't you know -- blow jobs cause wrinkles. Mostly I think they enjoy each other's company just because it annoys Vicki -- not exactly the best foundation for a strong friendship.

More from The Stir: Gretchen Rossi & Tamra Barney Weird Off-Screen Friendship

But oh was Vicki annoyed when they all met up at Heather Dubrow's painting party, which could go down as the lamest party in the history of The Real Housewives. With all of that money, you'd think she could have put together something a little more, but of course she had no intention of letting them into her house. So she took them to a little studio that resembled a paint-your-own-pottery place and made them paint shoes on canvases. She should have known it wasn't quite their thing when they all seemed completely baffled by the idea of it when she called to invite them. At least there were no carbs served.

While the housewives painted some of the tackiest pictures you've ever seen, Tamra fawned all over Gretchen. Remember when we did that? And oh your hair looks so pretty. And yours is the bestest painting. Gag. Gag. Gag. The only thing more annoying than them was Alexis Bellino who tried to take credit for their friendship: "We worked all year on this," she told them. She is delusional in so many ways.

But the point was made -- they are BFFs -- and Vicki was pissed. She left the party after giving everyone a hug ... except Tamra who seemed shocked even though that was exactly what she expected/wanted to happen. Tamra better be careful though, because once her and Gretchen's friendship blows up -- which it certainly will -- she's going to want to go crawling back Vicki.

More from The Stir: It's Time for 'Real Housewives' Gretchen Rossi to Pay for Her Bad Behavior

More lameness ensued when Heather Dubrow's husband, Terry Dubrow, crashed the party and started answering questions about plastic surgery before insulting his wife with his joke that was actually quite cute. Talk about uptight. Heather is not a whole lot of fun at all, which we were clued into early on tonight when she declared her intolerance for restaurant servers handing her menus that are open. Quelle horror!

The only thing that could have made the party any worse was if Slade Smiley had come in to practice his comedy routine. I'm so very scared to see what he's going to do at his big premiere on stage next week. Previews look nothing short of painful.

How long do you think the friendship between Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi will last? Do you find Heather Dubrow pretentious?


Image via Bravo

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