'Walking Dead' Recap: The Creepy Secret in Hershel's Barn

(Warning: spoilers ahead!) Tonight's Walking Dead episode opens with a gridlocked highway and a bunch of living people and a pre-haircut Shane, so it must be a flashback. Yep: there's Lori, Carol, Carol's asshole husband, and Sophia. Oh, wait, it's SOPHIA! Hello: opportunity. Look, I'm not saying someone should shoot that little girl right now in this traffic jam before she creates a massive plot timesuck, that would be horrible. I'm saying someone should feed her to a zombie.

Lori decides to run off with Shane, because what mother wouldn't want to leave her child in the midst of an apocalyptic nightmare, so they go watch Atlanta being napalmed and Lori is all OH DEAR THIS IS AWFUL and Shane is like SHUSH GIRL SHANE GOT YOU. Later, presumably, he treats her anxiety with a hot beef injection.

Back in the present day, Glenn's sitting on the farm porch and he's ... oh my god, is that a ... sweet Jesus, it's a guitar. And he's strumming it, all sensitive-like. THE HORROR. THE HORROR.

Advertisement

Yet another search party is formed to find Sophia, and Rick and Shane go wandering off in the woods together and spend like ten minutes talking about all the chicks Shane has nailed. Let's see, there was Maryann, Sheila, Mrs. Kelly, and oh yeah, YOUR WIFE, RICK.

Shane finally brings up the fact that Sophia is almost surely dead and the whole act of looking for her is putting people in danger and seriously should have come to some sort of conclusion three episodes ago, and Rick gets super mad because he feels guilty that Sophia's missing and then there's a really long, dramatic shot of a washcloth nailed to a tree.


Meanwhile, Daryl is off on his own search, and he's riding one of Hershel's horses. Everything's going great—Daryl shoots him a varmint, then spots a grubby doll that apparently belonged to Sophia—but a snake spooks his horse and Daryl goes tumbling down a huge hill and into the water. Man, that's gotta hurt. Well, especially since there's now an arrow sticking all the way through his torso.


Back at the farm, Rick approaches Lori and is all grim-faced as he says, "I just had a long talk with Shane." Lori's like, uhhhh, SHIT. But then Rick says he's pissed that Shane wants to call off the search for Sophia, and Lori's like whew. Close one, Lori! Now all you have to do is deny you're carrying Shane's baby until it emerges from your vagina, at which point it's going to be pretty damn obvious.


Checking back in with Daryl: he painfully claws his way up a hill, then promptly falls back down. When he blearily opens his eyes, surprise! It's his brother Merle, who proceeds to give him the worst pep talk of all time. Imaginary Merle accuses Daryl of hanging out with a bunch of pansy-ass Democrats, then he morphs into the actual zombie who's attempting to chew Daryl's foot. Hey, looks like the pep talk worked, because Daryl bludgeons the zombie's face in before manfully ripping the arrow from his own body in order to kill the second zombie who was approaching. Then he gets up, takes the zombies' ears as souvenirs, chugs a raw squirrel, and attacks the cliff again.


Dude. TEAM DARYL.


After all he's gone through, it's a little sad that when he gets back to camp, Andrea instantly blasts him with a rifle. Luckily, she's a shitty shot, but come ON, Daryl. The first rule of surviving the zombie apocalypse is not staggering around like a reanimated corpse!


(Also, the winner of Best Visible Obliques in this scene totally goes to Shane.)


At the farm, Daryl gets patched up by Grumpy McHorseDoctor, and everyone sits down to a wildly uncomfortable dinner, which is made even more awkward by Maggie passing Glenn a note that basically says DO U WANT SOME SEX Y/N? Glenn, who magically has a ballpoint pen for some reason, eagerly writes his response, which Maggie doesn't read until later. "Ever done it in a hayloft?" it says.


This is the point where everyone who has read the comics leans forward in their chair and says OH HELL YES because: oh hell yes. Forget the Sophia business, forget Imaginary Merle, forget Lori's insanely inconvenient pregnancy, forget Glenn and his lady problems, can we talk about the BARN FULL OF ZOMBIES?


That's where we leave off: with Glenn realizing that his master plan of making sweet love to Maggie in the hayloft is totally screwed, because 1) hello, this barn reeks, and 2) oh yeah, it's FULL OF ZOMBIES. Which, assuming this particular storyline sticks to the comics, have been stashed there by Hershel.


Next week: zombies in the barn! What's gonna happen? Will Sophia finally be found? Is Imaginary Merle going to become a recurring hallucinatory character? Are Carol and Daryl going to hook up? If the CDC dude told Rick that Lori was pregnant, would he really have kept it to himself this whole time? What's up with that "22" on Shane's necklace? Questions, questions.


What did you think of tonight's episode?



Image via AMC

Read More >