'Walking Dead' Recap: Lori's Big Secret Is Revealed

(Warning: spoilers ahead!) The Walking Dead opens this week with a closeup of Shane and his fancy new hair-don't. He's also swimming in a pair of Otis's overalls, so not only is there the whole irony of him wearing the clothes of the man he killed to save his own life, but man, he's got a real Deliverance vibe going on now. Hopefully he'll take off his shirt soon so we can focus on what's really important about Shane: his pectorals. I mean, his complex, tortured value system that blurs the lines between good and evil. Yeah. That.

At the farm, Carl wakes up from his sickbed and instantly asks where Sophia is, at which point everyone who's been watching this season slaps their forehead and groans because UGH NOT SOPHIA AGAIN. Rick says Sophia is "fine," which I hope is short for "fine-ally turned into a zombie so we can move on."


Unfortunately, apparently the gang is planning some more woods-wandering for the ever-missing Sophia. As they pore over a handy county map, Hershel announces that oh BTW only Dale is allowed to have a gun, and Rick is all, well Hershel that sort of sucks but your farm, your rules, and I'm like ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME THAT IS SERIOUSLY THE WORST RULE EVER.

Then there's this whole stupid thing where they find a big disgusting rotted blob of a zombie in the farm's well, and instead of shooting it, they decide to lower Glenn in as bait in order to lasso it and pull it out. Because they don't want to contaminate the water with a head wound. Because apparently drinking water a bloody, disintegrating zombie has been festering in for weeks is like a cold refreshing Dasani as long as you don't shoot it. It doesn't matter, though, because when they drag it out, it ruptures in half in what is easily the most repulsive scene in the series thus far.

Glenn and Maggie take off on a pharmacy run—because for whatever reason Maggie keeps going back to the pharmacy instead of cleaning the whole place out in one go—and before they leave Lori asks Glenn to pick up a secret something in the feminine hygiene aisle for her that he should keep private. It's painfully obvious to everyone in the universe but Glenn that she's talking about a pregnancy test, but Glenn apparently thinks she needs Stealth Tampons or something. Oh, Glenn.

Back in the woods, Daryl finds a creepy abandoned house that is maybe where Sophia has been hiding out but seriously I just don't even care at this point. Sorry, Sophia, and Sophia's Sad Bald Mom.

Finally, we have Lori sneaking out in the middle of the damn night in order to pee on her pregnancy test, like never mind how the world is overrun with the living dead and all, being unarmed with your pants down in a goddamned field seems like the ideal location for this activity, and lo and behold it's positive. Aw, mazel tov, Rick and Lori! Or ... um, Shane and Lori.

What did you think of tonight's episode? Were you surprised by Lori's pregnancy, or did you know? And do you think they're ever going to go anywhere with the Sophia story?

Image via AMC

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