Top 5 Charlie Sheen Burns From Comedy Central Roast

Charlie SheenThe Charlie Sheen crazy train has slowed down a bit as of late it seems. Gone are the days when his goddesses and mad ranting filled the headlines by the hour. Oh he's still crazy, no doubt, it just seems we may have become a bit numb to it all. But last night at the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen, his fellow actors spent two hours roasting him and reminding him he'll never live it down.

From William Shatner to Mike Tyson, they went after him without restraint or mercy. It was so harsh and dealt with such heavy topics, it at least bordered on inappropriate. You'll be able to see the special in its entirety on September 19, but until then here are five of the "best"/meanest Charlie Sheen slams of the night compiled from various reports:

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1. Jeff Ross directing a comment at Brooke Mueller, who was there by Sheen's side: "She's not very bright, unless Charlie's throwing a lamp at her."

2. "How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men." -- John Lovitz

3. "It's amazing, despite all those years of abusing your lungs, your kidneys and your liver, the only thing you've had removed is your kids." -- Kate Walsh

4. From Mike Tyson, who according to the Associated Press made "almost unintelligible" remarks but still drew laughs: "I'm the greatest poet alive. I will eat your children!" Uh, okay?

5. “Charlie, you claim to have ‘tiger blood,’ but after all the porn stars you’ve [had sex with], it’s probably Tiger Woods’ blood.” — Seth MacFarlane

Ouch. Sheen was prepared, however. Before the show he told the crowd

Once again, I have come out unscathed. You can't hurt me. Hell, I can't even hurt me. Drugs couldn't kill me. Sex couldn't kill me. The press couldn't kill me. Two and a Half Men couldn't kill me. Did you really think your jokes were going to hurt me?

Sadly, something eventually will, and then there will be nothing funny about any of it.

Will you watch the Charlie Sheen roast? Do you think the roasters went too far?


Image via Matthew Straubmuller/Flickr

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