'Gene Simmons Family Jewels' Is All Fantasy, No Reality

Surprise, surprise: the relationship drama so lovingly depicted and publicized in Gene Simmons Family Jewels has culminated in a cliffhanger custom-designed to hook viewers into the next season of the A&E reality show. After spending several weeks promoting every possible aspect of their troubled partnership, Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed came up with the ultimate twist to the speculation over whether they were done for good. During the last moments of the Family Jewels season finale, the marriage-shy KISS frontman finally dropped to one knee and proposed to his longtime girlfriend

How romantic! How shocking! How ... utterly predictable, scripted, and just plain gross.


Look, it's not that my heart is made of stone, it's just that this whole thing has been reeking of reality show B.S. from the get-go. I don't even watch the show and I predicted something like this was going to happen, because what could possibly trump the storyline of putting their relationship in jeopardy? The potential of a big old happy ending, that's what.

Here's the camera-ready moment when Gene Simmons summoned the nerve to ask his partner of 28 years to be his bride:

But will Shannon Tweed say yes? While the big moment supposedly came after weeks of rocky moments between the two, including a promotional tour that featured Tweed storming off talk show sets and dramatically announcing that there was a "slim chance" that they would reconcile, the proposal scene was actually shot several months ago. Which makes the comment Tweed made back in June about what the show was going to reveal all the more calculating:

I don't want to give away everything, but it's not looking great.

Naturally, the finale does not reveal her response to Gene's proposal. The only way to find out is to keep watching their reality show. As Tweed herself says, "stay tuned."

Actually, I think I'll pass. But keep milking it, you guys are doing a bang-up job.

Tell me, are you buying what Gene Simmons Family Jewels is trying to sell?

Image via YouTube

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