'True Blood' Characters Have the Dirtiest Mouths on TV

Lafayette on True BloodWhich 'True Blood' character swears the most?

What the f--k is going on with the characters of True Blood? Is it just my f--king imagination or is everyone using the word "f--k" a lot more this season? You had to have noticed it, it's almost impossible not to, but if for some reason your cereal was a little too crunchy that night, even the writers were quick to point it out to you in the most recent episode "I'm Alive and on Fire."

Marnie the witch is standing in the sacred circle trying to work her spell to free Eric from his memory loss, while Lafayette, Pam, and Tara scream urgent f-word laced threats and commands at each other. To which Marnie finally can't take it anymore. "Stop saying 'f--k' -- I can't concentrate!" And there are no more f--ks for the remaining minutes of the show.

Yes, the True Blood characters are in love with this word. This is not just a casual observation, either. Oh, f--k, no. We've done the math:

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In "I'm Alive and on Fire," the word "f--k" was used 22 times. For a 50-minute program, that averages out to about one f--k every two minutes. In the episode before that, "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin'?" there were 43 f--ks. That's a f--k per minute! That could be some kind of f---ing record!

Well, f--k dat!

You can't blame the writers for working the swear word into the script as much as possible. It makes this fantastical world all the more real, and the characters more interesting. This is Bon Temps, Louisiana, and this is how people talk. Throw in the threat of monsters trying to rape and eat you every which way, day in and day out, and I'd be using the word as part of my everyday vocabulary, too.

That motherf--ker.

Sitting on a f--kload of natural gas.

So many shifter kids are f--ked up.

Where the f--k have you been?

Even sweet-mouthed Sookie, the heroine of Charlene Harris's vampire series who rarely if ever swears in the books (her Gran raised her right), has been using it a lot more in the TV series. Even more than Bill, who almost never uses it. Eric doesn't need to utter it at all -- his very being embodies it.

True Blood's characters need to keep saying "f--k." Just not so much that it becomes distracting, as the witch put it. About 20 f--ks per episode seem like a well-balanced amount, in keeping with the back-country vibe and enough to fully bring out the characters' passion and personality.

After all, some of the show's most memorable one-liners have come out of using the word 'f--k,' namely Pam's threat: " ... I will personally eat, f--k, and kill all three of you." And Lafayette -- divalicious, direct, honest, lovable Lafayette -- perhaps the biggest f--kmouth of them all, would just not be the same if we washed his mouth out with soap.

F--k is part of the fabric of True Blood, part of the storylines' intensity, drama, and depth, so like it or not, the word is here to stay. And lucky for us, because every single gorgeous one of 'em does it so, so well.

Does it bother you that the True Blood characters use the f-word so damn much?

 

Image via HBO

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