'Bachelorette' Recap: JP Is Bad News

The hometown dates episode of The Bachelorette was very intriguing if only for the reason that I think Ashley Hebert can finally (sort of) tell Ben and Constantine apart. But for me, the takeaway of the episode is that she needs to run (RUN!) from JP as fast as she can.

This season of The Bachelorette is a bit confusing because two of the final four (now three!) look like they could be twins. Actually, call me a Bachelorette birther. I demand to see the birth certificates for Ben and Constantine because the two look so much alike, it's maddening.

Now, without Ames, two out of three of the men look exactly alike. I actually wonder if the last episode will reveal that the two men are the same and the joke has been on us all along.

But their doppelganger status wasn't the standout of the episode. That distinction belongs to JP, the broken-hearted.


In many ways, JP is the obvious favorite. He is completely adorable and smart and seems to be in it for the "right reasons."

The problem is his mysterious "broken heart." How many times did his mother, sister, and even he mention his ex? Will we ever know the details of what happened between the two of them? Because Ashley honey, you need to RUN. There is nothing worse than a guy still hung up on the girl who tore his heart out and handed it back to him still beating.

Every guy I ever dated had one of those and whoa was it depressing to always hear about. Boys are soft. They don't get over this stuff. The secrecy is so dramatic, too. We keep hearing all about this broken heart, but no details as to what happened. Clearly it was so bad that everyone felt the need to mention it.

Was there a suicide attempt involved? Honestly, that is the only time it would be appropriate for someone to mention a breakup to someone their son has just brought home to meet the family. Mysterious, indeed. But it sends up a million red flags.

JP may seem all ready to move on, but I say he is damaged goods, a broken toy. Ashley needs to get out while she still can.

Ames needed to go home, but Ben and Constantine should be the final two. And then my mind can implode trying to tell them apart.

Who do you think she should pick?


Image via ABC

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