'The Voice' Recap: Adam Sets Javier Up for the Win

vicci martinez
Vicci Martinez performs Florence and the Machine
On The Voice last night, we whittled down the pack of twelve to get the eight semi-finalists who will compete next week for a trip to the final four. We laughed at Christina Aguilera's hair, we cried when Jeff Jenkins was eliminated, and we cheered when Vicci Martinez killed Florence and the Machine's "Dog Days Are Over." And then we finished our snack, placed a few votes for Javier Colon (as if he needed them), and went to bed to dream about kicking Adam Levine in the sack just to hear how high his voice can really go.

There are a few things we need to talk about, but let's start with the fact that ... scam alert! ... Adam and Christina's performance of "Moves Like Jagger" was pre-taped.


They're saying it's because it's too hard to coordinate all those live performances on a two-hour show, so they had to pre-record the song so that things ran smoothly. Mmmhmm. OK. I think Adam is a bit of a perfectionist and didn't want another disaster of a performance like he gave us last week singing Queen, so he demanded the security of re-takes.

Anyway, on to the contestants. Cee-Lo's team lost that cute sister singing duo of Taylor and Tori Thompson (good!) and Curtis Grimes (double good!). Nakia was saved by Cee-Lo and America saved Vicci Martinez. I think Cee-Lo really was able to trim the fat off his team and he's going into the elite eight with some serious competitors. I like Nakia all right, but I love Vicci. Especially after her drumming with a mohawk! I might be able to go gay for her.

Adam's team lost Devon Barley (who?) and Jeff Jenkins. The audience saved Javier Colon (natch) and Adam saved Casey Weston. I see what Adam is doing. He's trying to give Javier the easiest road to the finals he can possibly have. Jeff, whom I adored, might have given Javier some competition, but Casey? I don't know. I'm really not impressed. She doesn't hold a candle to Javier, so she'll be eliminated next, for sure. And I'm sorry. How amazing was Javier's rendition of "Fix You" by Coldplay? Swoooon. I cried into my pretzel sticks.

Christina's team with Frankie and Beverly is the weakest, don't you think? I love both the ladies, but they're not very charismatic, and every time they sing, I'm concerned for their health. Frankie looks like she could have a heart attack at any moment and Beverly, with her violent head shaking, could seize and collapse right before our eyes.

Blake's team with Xenia and Dia is starting to get a little ... stale. Pretty girls singing pretty songs is what this nation was built on, so it's like, been there, done that. I love Xenia NoLastName, but she's a one-trick pony. Her tone is truly gorgeous, but did you hear her try to hit the high note on "The Man Who Can't Be Moved"? Yeesh. But if one-note Scotty can win American Idol, maybe Xenia NoLastName has a chance. And Dia reminds me of Pia. All smiles and nods, nothing exciting about her. She's great! She's musical! She's beautiful! But she's boring. I imagine if you have dinner with her, she wouldn't even look up from her plate.

So tomorrow we'll find out who stays and who goes. There's something about the coaches getting votes divided by the audience votes, carry the one, I don't give a damn. I'll see Javier, Vicci, Beverly, and Dia (although I want it to be Xenia) in the final four.

What did you think of last night?

Photo via thevoice.com

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