'The Killing' Recap: Top Characters Who Should Be Killed

I've given up on recapping this show from a fan's perspective. I had high hopes for The Killing, but I think it's time to recognize that the show just isn't unfolding the way I'd hoped, and instead of struggling to find the small elements of good left in an increasingly crappy investment by AMC, I'm just going to unleash the snark.

Cool? Let's get to it, then.

Last night's episode (warning, spoilers ahead) trotted out a truly stunning number of cheap plot contrivances, including the brain-searingly awful twist that Rosie had the exact same t-shirt as a 12-year-old Somali girl, and thus Bennet and Muhammed weren't really kidnapping Rosie, they were helping a young Somali named Aisha escape female circumcision.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.


Unfortunately Rosie's dad still believes Bennet to be the murderer, and by the show's end, we were treated to a brutal scene of Stan going all vigilante on Bennet and beating him to a gory pulp. We don't know if Bennet will survive, but hopefully it doesn't matter because my GOD, time to move on from the dead-end Bennet plot, RIGHT?

If Bennet has been killed, I think that may actually be an improvement on things story-wise, but in my opinion, the writers shouldn't stop there. Let's also deal with:

The police chief. This guy's character has inexorably morphed into the police chief from those "McGarnagle" Simpsons episodes. "YOU'RE OFF THE CASE, LINDEN!" GAH SHUT UP.

Mitch. Hey, Mitch, remember when you were a relatable grieving mother and we felt sorry for you? What happened, exactly?

Richmond, Gwen, Mayor Adams, and every single person related to the political subplot. For one thing, that scene in the bar between Richmond and Gwen was absolutely vomitous. For another thing, we've now endured 9 HOURS of the political story and not ONCE has it become interesting.

Linden barely escapes my murderous fantasies, but only because the scene between her and Bennet's wife in the police station was really well done and Linden's restrained impatience and tender reaction made me briefly stop wanting to punch her in her deadpan, gum-chomping face.

All right, so who's our main suspect at this point? Frankly, they've dished out so many red herrings I no longer believe that what we're watching is actually giving us any real clues to unraveling the mystery (which, you know, is a bad thing for a MURDER MYSTERY SHOW), but there's got to be something to Stan's employee Belko dancing around like a blood-frenzied monkey during that final violent scene with Bennet, right?

What did you think about this week's episode? Any guesses on who the killer is?

Image via AMC

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