'Real Housewives of Miami' Recap: Lame Lunch 'Drama' & Really Bad Wedding Hair

Marysol PattonAll good Real Housewives series must have at least one memorable meal. Whether it involves table flipping or a screaming match with a crazy, electric-cigarette smoking psychic, an explosive meal seems mandatory. Tonight The Real Housewives of Miami had theirs. Like the rest of the season, it didn't live up to that of other cities, but there was some confrontation over food, so we're going to count it.

After making mozzarella balls and talking about regular old balls with a chef hand-picked by Larsa Pippen (perhaps the most annoying, gnat-like Housewife ever), the ladies sat down to dine on lunch. After some awkward and forced chit chat, Adriana De Moura -- out of the bluest blue -- blurted out to Cristy Rice: "I heard you were not too excited about paying for your ticket."


Said ticket was to an event that happened eons ago. Lea Black hosted it; Cristy showed up with a friend and didn't pay. Lea got pissed, sent a certified letter demanding payment, and Cristy coughed up the cash. End of story, except this series so desperately needs something/anything to pull it along to its painful conclusion that they've made it into an issue.

After making her bold stir-the-pot move (made whether because the producers told her to or because Lea introduces her to rich men isn't clear), Adriana stepped back and let Cristy and Lea hash it out. There were a few words thrown, but Cristy looked pretty terrified of Lea, and voices weren't even raised more than a trifle. Larsa was the most fired up that HER luncheon was ruined. It was a competition after all, at least in her mind because everything should be one. "They ruined my lunch," she pouted.

Oh, and Marysol Patton did actually go through with her secret wedding atop a mountain in Aspen. The setting and her dress were gorgeous. Her hair: HIDEOUS. What was up with that -- a long ponytail with some flowers tied around it? Not to mention the fact that with all the hair pulled back from her face, we got a good look at the work of numerous plastic surgeons. Don't get me started on her blue eye shadow. Bad ... almost as bad as the predictions I have for the future of her marriage to Philippe. Her outrage over him daring to bring his wine refrigerator into her house was absurd.

"If you can’t see it on my face because of the Botox, I’m furious about the wine refrigerator," she told the camera. At least she doesn't think we can't tell she's had some TONS of work done.

Of course, she did tell him to throw out everything he owned except his clothes when he moved in with her, and he didn't seem to listen. So he was warned. But hey, he's gonna get a green card.

What did you think of Marysol's wedding 'do? Why do you think Adriana tried to stir things up?

Image via bravotv.com

Read More >