Ides of March Killed 'Bachelor' Brad Womack

bachelorThe Ides of March is upon us and I do declare there's need to beware. Especially if you're Bachelor Brad. In this tale of love and betrayal, Brad will play Julius Caesar, Emily will play Brutus, and Chantal O'Brien will play the part of the emotional, and a little bit pudgy, soothsayer.

Boys and girls gather round as I tell the tale of Brad Caesar, a tall leader with a penchant for saying, "Please know that ... please know that" and his lover turned mortal enemy Emily, a young blood-thirsty blond with larger than life teeth and a desire to kill.


Last night on After the Final Rose, Emily Brutus stood up, grabbed the knife that you know Chris Harrison keeps in a strap under his pant leg, and stabbed poor Brad Caesar in the back. The first blow came when everyone noticed she wasn't wearing her engagement ring. In and out went the rusty knife.

The second wound was inflicted when she said she wasn't going to move to Austin. The third stab happened when she called off their wedding day ... the knife bloody with Brad Caesar's heart and soul, Emily kept going. She wanted to let the whole Senate of Viewers know that she wasn't happy -- that she wanted the power.

It was a brutal scene; Emily was relentless. She had waited months for this attack, and laid into him with a cunning force. And all Brad Caesar could do was take it. He was the one that built this empire and tried to make it a tyranny, so all he could do was take it. Everyone knows a dictator in perpetuity does not last long.

Chantal the soothsayer did all she could to persuade Brad not to choose Emily, knowing full well that Emily couldn't make Brad happy, but Brad refused to listen.

It was hard to watch, wasn't it. Emily took her time stabbing Brad to death, but he just kept taking blow after blow. He died right there on the stage and Emily did a little dance on his six-pack, then packed up and annexed herself to Charlotte. Poor Brad thought Emily loved him enough to follow him anywhere, do everything he says, but Emily will not be contained. Each "I love you" was about as real as her blond hair -- over-processed and lifeless.

RIP Brad. Et tu, Emily?

Did you think Emily broke Brad's heart on the show last night, too?

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