'Real Housewives of Miami' Recap: No Paper Flowers for This Witch!

Real Housewives of Miami There has been exactly one redeeming factor so far in the first three episodes of The Real Housewives of Miami -- Marysol's mother, Elsa. So let's focus on her, because I'm getting bored of harping on how boring the Miami cast is. We'll just assume they're going to be, until they prove otherwise.

Elsa, however, is awesome. This week when Marysol took her boyfriend, Philippe, around to get her approval, Elsa was in full form -- oh, and drunk. She started by showing off her nightgown and proclaiming herself "hungover," which I'm not sure you can be simultaneously when you're drunk, but oh well. Whatever her exact state, she just threw out random and entertaining tidbits, which sound so wise when they drip with her thick Cuban accent.

Some of her best included:


"I hate to tell you, but most things look good on me."

"I saw a picture of Michael Jackson with a shirt like that." -- to Philippe

"I'm not much of a drinker, but once I start drinking, I feel good." (clearly)

"I didn’t come to this country to have paper flowers." -- after Marysol questioned if her flowers were real.

"I didn’t marry a gringo to have paper flowers." (she was pretty worked up about this)

And the best exchange of dialogue:

"What is it that I am?" she asks

"A psychic?" Philippe suggests.

"No ... I’m a witch!"

Here's to hoping they show much more of Elsa, because I can't wait to see the kind of witchcraft that broad could bust out.

The rest of the show was made up of a painful and drawn-out disaster of an art show headed up by Adriana De Moura, who has no concept of time or reality; Larsa Pippen buying her 16-year-old brother a car (did he say thank you?); and Lea Black dressing up like Lady Gaga in what may or may not have been a joke, it wasn't clear -- just awful.

Honestly the best parts of the whole show were the commercials for the new season of The Real Housewives of New York, which finally got an official start date -- for real this time. They're coming back on Thursday nights starting April 7. Can't wait! 

Is anyone still watching The Real Housewives of Miami? If so, what keeps you coming back? Are you excited for The Real Housewives of New York?

Image via BravoTV.com

Read More >