'Survivor Redemption Island' Recap: Getting Immunity Is as Simple as Wiping Your Hiney

survivor redemption islandIt’s Thursday morning, folks. Grab that cup o' Joe and settle in for some Survivor lowdown. We start episode two following Francesca to Redemption Island. Looks a little creepy, but I have to say, I kinda don’t care about it right now. Until we know more, get some duels going, meh. Take me back to the tribes.

And luckily they do. I think this episode is all about showing us the difference between Jedi Rob and Russell. First up: Jedi Rob. He is a master. He knows this game in and out. He’s gotten all of the Robettes to follow him as well as Crazypants Philip to pledge his vote to Rob. Okay, yeah, he’s crazypants but, man, Jedi Rob has The Force going.

Speaking of Crazypants Philip, anyone else think he and the Old Spice Topless Dude could be related?


Back to the game. So, Jedi Rob narrows down his Robettes alliance to the Inner Circle (Natalie, Dreadlock Dude aka Grant, and Ashley). You see, Matt/Fabio 2.0 and Andrea are getting a wee too cozy for Jedi Rob’s taste. If anyone knows how strong a showmance can be, it’s Rob (hiya, Amber!!).

Over at Zapatera, Russell’s doing a similar move. Already with Stephanie, he selects Krista as his other minion. He is playing his usual game, trying to look for the hidden immunity idol on his own. No clue and without trying to even act like he’s doing something else. Little does he know, Ralph -- Ol’ Dumb Ralph as Russell calls him -- stumbles upon the hidden immunity idol while collecting rocks. Ol' Dumb Ralph is a walking example of “Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover,” my friends. Ol' Dumb Ralph is smart, keeps his cool, and doesn’t tell anyone. Good move, Ralphie. I still need subtitles sometimes when he talks, but I like him.

Challenge time! It’s an immunity-reward, three-part, multi-pack of a challenge. First part: members of each tribe had to swim, jump, break a tile thing to get a key, and then swim back. Then, other tribe members use the keys to unlock a box to get a ball -- really, all of that for one little ball? In the last part, one player of each team goes mano-a-mano in a Chuck E. Cheese-inspired "roll a ball up a ramp and break six tiles" game. Who was head to head? Yup. Ol' Dumb Ralph and Crazypants Philip. WInner: Ralph and Zapatera.

And then Matt/Fabio 2.0 goes over and shakes their hands.

WHAT? Yup, Matt/Fabio 2.0 goes over and shakes their hands. That’s all fine back at the Omaha Little League All-Star Game, but on Survivor? Dude, that’s suicide. I thought Jedi Rob was about to burst a neck vein. As he says later, "Matt’s playing textbook Survivor, but he’s playing with me.“ Yes, Jedi Rob knows the ways of The Force.

Back at Zapatera, Russell snags the clue to the hidden immunity idol from the reward basket and he and his minions go off to search -- but basically everyone knows what’s going on. Ol' Dumb Ralph calls him on it, Russell lies (no surprise there), and by the end of the episode, that guy David still hasn’t said boo to the camera.

At Ometepe, Jedi Rob tells the Inner Circle to vote for Matt/Fabio 2.0, but not to tell Ashley as a test. He also plans a test for Crazypants Philip. Jedi Rob tells Crazypants Philip he will be safe but that he doesn’t need to know anything more than that. Jedi Rob gives him instructions to vote for the person he puts his right hand on during Tribal Council. It reminded me of the scene in Star Wars where Obi Wan gets them past the guards at Mos Eisley ("These are not the droids you seek”) using The Force to change their thoughts. Jedi Rob uses The Force to control Crazypants Philip’s crazy pants.

Tribal Council comes and goes just as Jedi Rob planned it -- Kristina plays the hidden immunity idol everyone knows she has, Crazypants Philip behaves semi-normally, and Matt/Fabio 2.0 is sent to Redemption Island in the first blindside of the season.

To describe the episode, I think Jedi Rob would borrow a quote from Ol' Dumb Ralph -- it was "as simple as wiping your hiney with toilet paper."

What did you think of this episode of Survivor: Redemption Island?


Image via CBS


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