'Real Housewives of Atlanta' Recap: Freaky & Fed Up

Real Housewives of AltantaThings started out smutty again on The Real Housewives of Atlanta this week as the women revisited Kandi’s Internet show, Kandi-Koated Nights, and got freaky.

They set out to determine their “freak numbers” with a scale from 1-10, 10 being the freakiest.

Apparently it takes quite a bit to get to 10. As Sheree was evaluating her status, Kandi interrupted her:

“Have you ever peed on anyone?” she asked.

Say what?!

No one fessed up, and the ever-eloquent Kim Zolciak was downright indignant.

“If papa ever tried to pee on me, sweet Jesus, he wouldn’t have a peepee to pee with,” she said.


While no real numbers were decided upon, there was talk of anal sex (Kim is okay with it; the surprisingly prudish NeNe finds it disgusting) and an appearance by a male stripper -- Mr. Luscious -- who took it ALL off. Yep, even the sock off his you-know-what.

They don’t call it Hotlanta for nothing.

Trying to keep things cool on the other hand was Kim’s 13-year-old daughter, Brielle, with the new $3,000 abstinence ring Kim bought her as they both bounced around in tiny tank tops with their boobs hanging out.

Oh, and the abstinence promise -- that’s only valid until she’s 18.

Phaedra Parks brought home her baby in one of the most uncomfortable, strangest-looking outfits you’ve ever seen. But it was made by someone who once crocheted for Oprah, so it must be fly.

The baby boy’s name is Ayden Adonis, and Phaedra intends to call him Ayden. (“Everyone loves the name Ayden,” Parks said repeatedly.)

Only her husband, Apollo, plans to call the kid by his middle name -- Adonis.

As if this poor child isn’t going to be confused enough with parents like that.

Oh, and Apollo had to carry Phaedra everywhere and take care of the baby while she sat by barking orders at him, because of her c-section and all.

Sheree tried to clear up confusion with “doctor” Tiy-E. It was just a mess of a conversation that ended with him waving papers in her face that supposedly proved he is a doctor. Only he wouldn’t show them to her until she proved to him she’s a woman.

Good riddance good doctor … or whatever you are.

For some reason the show was all of a sudden 15 minutes longer this week than the usual hour. Bracing for something significant that called for such a change in course (you know, like Phaedra Parks suddenly showing some maternal sparks or something shocking like that), the extended minutes were pretty anticlimactic as they led to what everyone has been expecting for some time -- the end of NeNe’s marriage to her husband Greg.

Now Greg has never appeared to be the quickest witted guy, but tonight he tripped up big time when he talked to a “friend” about his relationship problems with NeNe, who had filed divorce papers earlier in the show on the down low.

Said friend proceeded to stream the entire conversation in which Greg blasted NeNe, talked of their impending divorce, and said he put $300,000 into her career that he wants back.

Some of the other housewives (i.e., Kim and Kandi) huddled around listening to and tutting over the broadcast at a party, but somehow didn’t feel the need to call NeNe and warn her about it.

Instead NeNe found out while at her first day of work as a “journalist” at her local news station.

Her co-workers let her know that her personal life in the headlines is grounds for firing, and NeNe was fired up as she went home to confront Greg and take him down.

After a heated argument, in which Greg admitted the $300,000 sum was a bit of an exaggeration, NeNe declared them done.

“This is it between me and Greg. We’re done. We’re over.”

Sad, but at this point, it doesn’t seem like there’s much to salvage.

Best part of the show: The preview for next week in which Phaedra’s baby has an accident all over her during a family photo shoot. Can’t wait.

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