’30 Rock’ Recap: 10 Funny Lines (Okay, 12)

Kelsey Grammar on 30 RockTonight’s 30 Rock confronted something we’ve always known: Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) has sexual hangups.

Like, a lot of sexual hangups.

As the episode opens, Jack is on the brink of “Reaganing” -- going 24 hours without making a single mistake as he solves every problem in his path. Liz comes close to ruining his no-hitter… but then he figures out that Tom Jones is at the root of all her issues, causing her vagina to slam shut at inopportune times. Meanwhile, Jenna teams up with Kenneth and guest star Kelsey Grammer to scam Carvel. As in Cookie Puss. Man, I love saying Cookie Puss.

So here’s a dozen funny lines. I know. I keep doing that. Maybe we should just make it 12 from now on.


"You have so many unsolvable problems! Like your mouth! It looks like someone kicked a hole in a bag of flour!"

"I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut."

"When you bite your nails like that, it either means you’re nervous or you handled ham earlier."

"You have more sexual hangups than an adult chatline run by Gilbert Gottfried."
"That was written by a computer program we’re developing to replace you."

"I’m sorry, I have an erection! I think it was the sound of the skateboard!"

"I was on top of the world with my roller skates and my new haircut, which everyone thought was a Dorothy Hamill but which was really a Pete Rose."

"We’re standing here talking, adding brick after brick to our friend castle so it someday reaches the sky."

"I don’t like what this is doing to you, Kenneth. You seem meaner and stronger and … what if you got a motorcycle and we did it on it?"

Kelsey Grammer:
"I’m in. But one rule: anyone gets hurt during the score, you leave ‘em behind to die."

"You have a good heart, Kenneth. I hope you get in a car accident someday so I can have it."

"Well, it’s been a pretty rough day, but at least we’re in Newark now."

"You’re Liz Lemon, dammit, and in certain lights you’re an eight, using east-coast over-35 standards excluding Miami."

What was your favorite line? Is in-o-ventually a word?!

Image via NBC

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