24 Reasons 'Modern Family' Won the Best Comedy Emmy

Modern FamilyNot enough singing and dancing by the talented youngsters of Glee could dethrone Modern Family as the best comedy on television this year (well, at least according to those Emmy people).

In a mockumentary format, the show follows the lives of Jay Pritchett, who's married to a younger Colombian woman Gloria and helps raise her son Manny. Jay has two children, Claire and Mitchell. Claire is married to Phil Dunphy, and they have three kids. Mitchell and his partner Cameron Tucker (played by Eric Stonestreet, who won an Emmy last night!) just adopted an absolutely adorable baby from Vietnam, Lily.

Their dysfunctional dynamic makes for some hilarious television. And as is the case with many family-oriented comedies, this diverse group may have their fair share of issues, but they also show a lot of love for each other.

Check out our roundup of the funniest lines from each of the first 24 episodes:


1: Pilot

Haley: "Why are you guys yelling at us? We were way upstairs, just text me."

2: The Bicycle Thief

Jay [about Manny's father]: "The only way his dad is like Superman is that he landed in this country illegally."

3: Come Fly With Me

Cameron: "I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy, and I dare you to not like me."

4: The Incident

Dede [about Jay and Gloria]: "I knew they were perfect for each other when I saw his wallet and her boobs."

5: Coal Digger

Gloria: "Whose side are you on?"
Jay: "She's my daughter, you're my wife. Let's remember what's important, there's a football game on today."

6: Run for Your Wife

Cameron: "I got MooGoo bear from the freezer."
Mitchell: "Why do you have chocolate on your face?"
Cameron: "It was under a chocolate pie."
Mitchell: "So you ate your way through it?"
Cameron: "I made a judgment call, you weren't there."

7: En Garde

Claire: "Luke already is the best at something. Being my son ... that sounded a lot less lame in my head."

8: Great Expectations

Gloria [about Haley]: "When I was her age, I loved my grandfather, but I still wanted to be with boys."
Jay: "I know, so did Claire ... and Mitchell."

9: Fizbo

Mitchell: "I got Luke a video game, but it's about math. So, I guess we're those kind of uncles."

10: Undeck the Halls

Cameron: "If I was home right now, I'd be mixing up a bathtub full of eggnog and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a Santa hat. You don't think I don't miss that?"

11: Up All Night

Mitchell: "She can't grow up with one huggy, happy cuddly dad and one frowny, lesson-teachy dad because ... guess which one she's gonna ask to walk her down the aisle?"

12: Not in My House

Phil: "That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial."

13: Fifteen Percent

Claire: "I have this theory that Phil purposely installs complicated technology so he has a reason to talk to me like I'm a child."

14: Moon Landing

Cameron: "Oh sure, when you're gay you just walk around giving butt bumps to everybody. It's like a high-five. It's a low-two."

15: My Funky Valentine

Manny: "Can we stop calling me little guy? I'm in the fortieth percentile."

16: Fears

Cameron: "We can’t ignore the giant panda in the room” [after Lily calls her Asian pediatrician Mommy].
Mitchell: "Her first word was every gay father’s worst nightmare.”

17: Truth Be Told

Phil: "Trust me, I had plenty of fun in my time. Then, I met your mom."

18: Starry Night

Alex: "Luke has ADHD."
Luke: "No I don't ... what is it?"
Alex: "I'd tell you, but you'd wander off before I get to the ..." [Luke wanders off]

19: Game Changer

Phil: "I was 11 years old. I hit 10 straight fastballs in the batting cage, then my friend Jeff Sweeney took one in the groin. I yelled, 'Ball two!' Everybody laughed. That's when I knew I was funny."

20: Benched

Claire: "Alex, honey, when you're out shopping, you might want to pick yourself up a training bra. I know you don't need one now but your little boobies are going to come in soon. Mommy loves you, kitten!"

21: Travels With Scout

Phil: "I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers; it turns out I'm one of them. It's a miracle I didn't end up a stripper."

22: Airport

Jay: "Could you make it a double? I'm traveling with my family."

23: Hawaii

Mitchell: "Why did you dress her in jungle print?"
Cameron: "Because I thought it would be cute!"
Mitchell: "She's going to think she's back in Vietnam!"

24: Family Portrait

Phil: "Ordinarily I'm a rule follower, but when someone tells me I can't bring my own snacks into their stadium? That's when I get a little ... nuts. It's a free country right? Let's just say it Ruffles me when some Goobers tell me I have to spend half my PayDay on their hot dogs."

Do you have any favorite quotes/moments/characters from Modern Family?

Image via ABC.com


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