Kate Gosselin Looks Mad, Ochocinco is a Kraken: Our DWTS Recap

In last night's Dancing With the Stars episode, the couples had to tell a story through dance ... some came across as a fairytale, others just a nightmare (*cough* Kate Gosselin *cough*).

Kate was given Lady Gaga's "Paparrazzi" to dance the paso doble to ... how appropriate. She's clearly still pissed off about everything and tried to channel that anger into her routine, but it only came across on her face, making her look like a crazed maniac. No wonder Jon was terrified of her.


Evan Lysacek and Anna Trebunskaya told a story of husband and wife who are upset with each other because she's running late. Even with broken toes, Evan did amazing and they earned the top points of the night (26).

Since Erin Andrews got yelled at last week by the judges to start trusting her partner, their story this week circled around trust. Blindfolded throughout much of the routine, Erin and Maksim Chmerkovskiy waltzed away. I was quite impressed with Erin, but Len said it was boring. Shows how much I know about dancing, eh?

Soap star Aiden Turner and his partner Edyta Sliwinska performed a quickstep, telling the story of a painter who creates his dream woman, and then she appears. Aiden looked so much more confident this week. Not that it was good, per se, but better. I think it was because his wife and adorable 7-month-old baby girl came to visit him during rehearsals for his birthday. So sweet!

Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough performed a quickstep about two sailors who are goofing around. Len wasn't pleased by the performance at all. Oh Len, you old bitter hardass! I think the judges are a little harsher on these two just because they're so darn good.

Buzz Aldrin was milking the whole hero thing with a number illustrating a father-daughter pair, separated by patriotic duty. Bruno said his patriotic return was like the return of the king, (whatever that means) but the movement wasn't really there. Carrie Ann says she doesn't know if his dancing improved, but his storytelling and performance was better. Len liked the innocent charm, but the technique was poor and the routine was oversimplified. Whew, could you imagine if he had gotten the quickstep?

How do you piss off a animal activist? Make her do a dance about bullfighting. Yowza, Pamela Anderson was mad. But she brought it into her routine and gave it passion, earning praises from the judges.

Jake Pavelka is still being a whiny brat in rehearsal. Get over yourself, bachelor. Him and his partner Chelsie Hightower did the quickstep to "Walk Like An Egyptian" telling the story of an archaeologist and Cleopatra, which the judges were quite fond of. It was the actual dancing that could have been better.

Chad Ochocinco did a paso dablo pretending to seduce his partner but was being rejected. He said it sound familiar ... as if that line wasn't practically written in. The judges gave well-balanced critiques, praising him for his improvement but saying he still had a ways to go. "The power is back. The presence is back. ... but you still danced like a Kracken," Bruno said. By the way, did anyone else think it sounded like he said "crackhead"? Thank goodness I was DVRing it so I could rewind and turn up the volume. Yep, definitely Kraken. Which is good because I'd definitely rather be compared to a Kraken than a crackhead. 

And Niecy Nash ... well, we devoted an entire post to her performace. Check it out!

Which was your favorite performance? Who do you predict will be kicked off this week?

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